Kim Kardashian has caused quite a stir on Twitter in the last 48 hours, in a feud that now involves Bette Midler, If I Stay actress Chloe Grace Moretz, and unexpected sense-maker Miley Cyrus.
If you’re not across this story, we forgive you. Perhaps you were busy. Perhaps you have a life. We have absolutely no doubt that you have more important things to do.
But the fact you clicked on this story means you’ve decided: it’s time. So here’s a run-down of the Shakespearean drama that is Kim Kardashian’s latest attempt to ‘break the internet’.
It has five acts. Obviously.
ACT I:
It’s a mild Sunday night in Los Angeles, where we lay our scene. Reality-star and notorious selfie-taker Kim Kardashian is bored. Or frustrated by the amount of social media attention her (apparently broke) husband, Kanye West, has been getting lately. The drama starts (like most great stories do) with a naked selfie of Kim in her bathroom.
ACT II:
Bette Midler, who in her 70 years on this earth has probably seen more nude photos of Kardashian’s than she has birthdays, decides this is the last straw.
Anyway, she tries to take a feminist approach to the whole situation. But she was about to learn an important lesson. How to take a pound of flesh? No, just don’t challenge Kim Kardashian about her nude selfies. There is simply no point.
“Why don’t we overly fortunate women come together?”, asked Cyrus, to her audience of almost 40 million followers.
“No matter how hard you (or myself) work NEVER will I feel I am worthy of the comfort I live in”, she continued.
Um, is this the moment we were all waiting for on International Women’s Day? And did it really just come from Miley Cyrus?
ACT V:
All in all, Kim Kardashian remains the queen, with hundreds of thousands of people supporting her every move during this bizarre Shakespearean-style drama.
Ultimately, when someone shames you for taking a nude selfie, there is only one logical response: take another nude selfie. Which is exactly what Kim did.
She’s #liberated, guys.
The moral of the story can be summed up by a meme shared by Demi Lovato (I never thought I would see myself typing that sentence):
Nudity empowers some.
Modesty empowers some.
Different things empower different women and it’s not your place to tell her which one it is.
See, it’s just like a Shakespearean drama. Except with less blood. And significantly more butts.
We conclude this play with the words for the great bard himself, from Macbeth.
“Life … is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”