Kim Kardashian West has gone and done it.
She’s busted one of the biggest fallacies going around in one short post on her website.
Entitled From the Desk Of: How I Really Feel About Being Pregnant, the 34-year-old reality show star reveals that she, in fact, hates it.
“I’m gonna keep it real: For me, pregnancy is the worst experience of my life! LOL!” she wrote. (Though I’m assuming the LOL means it’s not literally THE actual worst experience of her life – I’m pretty sure her dad dying and her two divorces would top the list of shitty, shitty things that have happened.)
“I don’t enjoy one moment of it and I don’t understand people who enjoy it.”
Finally. A pregnant woman preaching the truth. Amen, sister.
And I’m bloody glad someone is telling it like it is. Because pregnancy is not all dreamy-faced belly-rubbing and husbands massaging your feet.
Despite the fantasies portrayed in panty liner commercials, women shouldn’t be under the impression they will turn into a glowing goddess immediately upon bearing a child.
They should know they’re far more likely to become hairy, gassy, hormonal monsters that cannot for the life of them fit into regular clothes.
I’m five months into my first pregnancy and while I wouldn’t go so far as to classify it as the worst experience of my life, I agree that it can be pretty f—king awful.
All the baby stuff is super expensive. There are approximately one million doctors’ appointments to attend. And don’t even get me started on morning sickness.
Related: An ode to all the women suffering in silence.
But, I digress.
My new feminist hero Kardashian West, with her second due in December, continued: “Maybe it’s the swelling, the backaches or just the complete mindf–k of how your body expands and nothing fits.” (Or maybe it’s the nausea, the constipation, or the constant fear that whatever you’re about to put into your mouth will harm your unborn child.)
“I just always feel like I’m not in my own skin. It’s hard to explain. I don’t feel sexy, either — I feel insecure and most of the time I just feel gross.”
Body image is a tough beast for most women, let alone one who is constantly stalked by paparazzi. And accused of faking her pregnancy if her bump appears too big — or small. And reproached for endangering her child if she dares to wear heels. And slammed for the baby weight she packed on in her first pregnancy. No wonder she feels self-conscious.
I’m already struggling with the weight gain resulting from needing to eat every few hours to keep the nausea at bay.
Despite being regularly told, “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant,” adjusting to a much fuller figure can be really challenging (so can be finding clothes that don’t make a pregnant woman resemble a whale).
Having people touch my belly, which still feels like a food baby to me, makes me uncomfortable.
Having people comment on my size, even more so. Even something as innocent as a, “Wow, you’ve popped,” can be interpreted in the head of a sensitive and hormonal pregnant woman as, “Holy shit, you’re huge!”
And, like my new soul sister Kardashian West, I don’t feel beautiful.
I don’t feel sexy.
Having my belly hang over my pants makes me feel nothing but gross (as KKW so eloquently puts it).
Kim and I aren’t the only ones. A pregnant friend recently confessed she could barely stand to look at her reflection in the mirror.
Maybe it’s a sad indictment on a self-obsessed generation that grew up on Photoshop and selfies, but it’s real.
Related: Being pregnant and being Gen Y are not at all compatible.
I’m glad Kim got her feelings off her (much talked about) chest.
No doubt she’ll cop it from people accusing her of being ungrateful and insensitive to those unable to carry their own child.
But from someone who publicly struggled through her first pregnancy and had fertility issues afterwards, she knows how lucky she is.
And she is entitled to talk about the less appealing aspects of pregnancy.
She ends with the disclaimer that “it is all SO worth it when you have your precious baby in the end”.
And, based on the simple fact that women go through this state again and again and again, I believe you.
We know we are incredibly fortunate to be able to experience the miracle that is growing a person inside you.
And we know that all the horrendous symptoms of pregnancy (not to mention the trauma of giving birth) will be quickly forgotten the first time we hear our new baby’s hearty chuckle.
But, in the meantime, it doesn’t mean we can’t have a whinge about it every now and then.
Does it?
Top Comments
Oh my gaawd, can we get over telling each other how we're meant to feel & look, what brands for baby we're meant to be buying, what car we should drive when we have baby and when to have the next baby!! Let's STOP listening to all these nutters, base our decisions on logic and scientific fact (not the kind you find on morning tv) and just get on with it. Maybe if we stopped obsessing over everything, we'd find enjoyment in our lives.
Bizarre. I mean, I get that she doesn't enjoy the experience - a lot of people don't. But my pregnancy wasn't easy either. I was badly exhausted the entire nine months to the point that being on my feet was pure torture, I had to sit down most of the time. I had morning sickness that had me bed-ridden for the first 20 weeks. I could never find a comfortable position to sit or lie in, I was in a lot of pain because of endometriosis. I was fat, puffy, irritable, weepy, my hair was greasy, my skin was dry, none of my clothes fitted.
But my pregnancy before my successful one was a miscarriage. And I never forgot being in the emergency room, waiting to hear the bad news, hearing another woman go through some form of procedure and hearing her wail in pain and agony. It was the sound my heart made when I found out that I was going to miscarry.
So in the midst of all the bad stuff, there were moments of calm and serenity. I remember sitting on a beach, belly full, talking to my little one inside me. I told her how I'd take her to the beach one day, and why I loved it. And it was a magical moment that I never thought I'd get to have.
So, being honest about pregnancy is a good thing, but I don't know why it would make one a feminist hero. All the doom-talk terrified me when I'd fallen pregnant. I was so scared and stressed out by how bad the pregnancy was supposed to be and how much worse parenthood would be that I stressed out WAY more than I needed to.
Pregnancy was a magical time for me, despite the ongoing, unceasing health implications and difficulties. Childbirth was the worst and the best. And motherhood - I love it. I don't have time to myself, I can barely get my ablutions done during the day, I don't have time for my hobbies and I am constantly at the beck and call of this little baby. But I am probably the happiest I have ever been as well.
I just wish people would be a little balanced. It's not all doom and gloom and it's not all fairy wings and stardust. It's on the one hand, waking up with haemorrhoids you don't know what to do with, and on the other, going to an ultrasound and walking away with a picture of the baby that's going to enter your life. Or your family talking into your belly, or the baby kicking when it hears some cool music. It's a balance.