This mother opens up about teaching her thieving children a lesson or two…
My husband, David, has a habit of leaving loose change lying around the house. It comes out of his pockets, his wallet and the washing machine, and occasionally it pays for tuckshop, so I count it as a valuable and necessary form of income. He hangs on to the pieces of gold, sadly, but his unwanted silver litters shelves, bowls and countertops all throughout the house.
Lately, there’s been less spare change available to me for some strange reason, and it’s not because David’s spending habits have decreased. I believe the children’s spending habits have increased, because I think I’ve heard jangling pockets heading off to school. This theory is supported by the schoolyard gossip about the generosity of my kids on tuckshop days. Putting two and two together, I’m coming up with an old, buried memory that proves petty theft is genetic...
My father also hated loose change, and always emptied the enormous pockets of his boat-builders overalls out onto the mantelpiece before he went for his shower each night. In amongst the screws, washers and knotted rope was a treasure trove of significant value for the lonely five-year-old child. I had recently discovered that the quickest way to make friends at school was to buy them. With lollies. It didn’t take me long to learn about the value of currency... more particularly, coinage. A 20 cent piece in the ‘70s could buy 40 lollies from the corner shop, and Dad never missed it.
Until the day my parents got a phone call from a local mother telling them that she had seen me with a crowd of children coming out of the shop every day for a week. I was known as the pied piper of Hemmant, and was superficially loved and adored by many. To this day, parents from the south side of the river are wondering why their kids’ teeth had so many cavities...