The times your kids were the most embarrassing creatures, ever.

Kids. Cute. Sweet. Jam-stuck-to-fingers. Hair-stuck-to-hair-stuck-by-jam. Kids.

There are many qualities that make us swoon about our children, but there are others that… just make you want the floor to open up.

Because for every instance little Tommy or Tammy repeats a long word, there are 10 instances of them filling their underpants with butter.

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Some parents will hold onto these moments to claim their child is some kind of second-coming prodigy.

But if you’ve ever been around little tykes long enough, you know these moments are just a wave in a sea of: “he’s FAT, she’s TALL, you SMELL.”

A group of parents have come together on online forum Reddit to share the times their kids accidentally made them want to leave the room.

Dancing Potato Queen

A lovely lady tapped me on the shoulder and whispered into my ear, “excuse me love, your child is dancing naked beside the potatoes.”

Judgmental Riders

Was riding on a public bus and my five year old put her hand on a guy’s shoulder in the seat front of us and said – “This man is very fat.”

A Not-So Mad Hatter

“‘You’re a funny little man, but I like your hat.’ My 4-year-old said that to a little person in the airport who was wearing a cowboy hat. I practically wanted to keep walking and leave him there, then I heard the man respond, ‘Thank you. And you’re a funny little man too!'”

via GIPHY

A Captain’s Attitude

“I had to wear an eyepatch for a while, and one time I was in line at the grocery store checkout. The kid behind me yells, ‘Look mommy, a real pirate!’ His mom was mortified, but I was cracking up.”

Gentle Giant

“I’m 6’4″ 325 with a large bushy beard. I was at a Walmart waiting to buy my items when I hear the little kid in front of me whisper, ‘Wowww, a giant’. It was awesome.”

A Sensitive Nose

“Not me, but my brother when he was young (I think like 3). My dad took him shopping and had him sitting in the front of the cart. Little brother very loudly yells ‘DADDY YOU FART. YOU FARTED DADDY.'”