I’ve been married for seven mostly very happy years. But it turns out I’ve been doing this whole marriage thing wrong.
According to a UK blogger, if you want to maintain a state of wedded bliss, you need to have sex within an hour of getting home.
I know, right? I almost died laughing too. It's hard enough to get a meal on the table in the evening, let alone put aside time for a quickie.
Writer Natasha Bell’s reasoning behind her bold advice is that her hubby is often away. When he gets home from a work trip, it is often a competition to see who is more exhausted. Instead of re-launching their relationship on a bitter footing, they set a rule together that they have to get jiggy with it straight away when he gets home. The result from this expectation is that having sex puts Natasha and her husband in a better mood and they can start operating seamlessly again as a couple.
Natasha argues that this works because it gives sex a deadline, adding it to the to-do list. She categorises sex as a chore that’s necessary to keep her partnership together. She explains that no, it’s not romantic, but it’s more romantic than splitting up because you have put everything ahead of enjoying freaky time together.
WATCH to see the moment people knew their partner was the one. When did you know?
When I saw the headline for this article I wanted to call bullsh*t straight away. Who has the inclination for a horizontal tango within an hour of walking in the door? If my hubby and I even tried that move we’d be interrupted by a confused toddler who doesn’t understand why he’s not invited to jump on the bed.
There are a some points to Natasha’s rule that make sense.
Sex within an hour of getting home might not be a reasonable goal for most of us, but making sure it happens with at least some regularity can be the glue that holds your relationship together throughout the stressful times of raising children.
Lots of couples say that they can never find the time for sex. It’s up to you to make the time, even if it’s only a fifteen minute quickie.
Then there’s the argument of not being in the mood. According to Natasha, “Rather than sex being a reward for romance, it should be the catalyst for it. Your partner is annoying you? Have sex! Turn friction to passion, and enjoy the sparks.”
No doubt a lot of husbands would be cheering to see this kind of advice. A super fast roll in the hay is a great stress reliever - but mostly for men.
If you're the kind of person who can actually get something out of sex on the fly, then by all means stick with this tactic. But I'd like to fire back that for a lot of us sex can feel pretty one sided when it's done without any passion or build up. And when it comes to a happy marriage, when sex doesn't make both parties feel good, it's a recipe for disaster.
Good on Natasha for developing and sticking to this rule in her marriage to make things work. But as for telling the rest us that we need to do the same? Let's just make up our own minds on what's going to make our marriages happy ones.
How often do you have sex with your partner?