My mobile phone beeped at 6.09am with the news.
“Kate Middleton is pregnant,” I read through bleary eyes.
My heart did a sommersault (is that weird? Okay, don’t answer …). But it’s the truth, so there you have it. I was unashamedly overjoyed for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and I remained in that drunk-on-joy-hooray-for-a-royal-baby mood right up until I read the announcement from the Palace. The pregnancy has been confirmed but Kate is yet to reach 12 weeks.
She’s essentially been backed into a corner and forced to announce this pregnancy due to her hospitalisation on Monday. And THAT moment, when I realised what this all meant, that’s when my heart went from doing star jumps to dropping into my ugg boots.
‘Oh God,’ I thought. Just like every woman who has ever suffered the shock and pure devastation of a first trimester miscarriage. Just like every woman who has gleefully told friends and family of an expected baby only to have to – through a fog of sadness or numbness – make the calls and send the emails that start with the words, “We have some terrible news to share …”
I lost my first pregnancy at six and a half weeks. Alone in Townsville at a writers festival. I’d just checked into the festival hotel when my body went into cramps and I started to cry.
I knew what was happening as the floaty dreams of prams and cots and snuggling this little soul evaporated. Just like that. And regardless of how early a miscarriage is, if the baby is much-wanted, if you have already felt the whisper of a new little spirit in your ear – the loss can bring you to your knees. Your baby has gone.
But that fear for the Duchess having a miscarriage is not the only reason that some couples greeted Monday’s news with heavy hearts.
When you’re desperately trying to conceive or have suffered a stillbirth or neo-natal death, the news of someone else’s (really anyone else’s) pregnancy can feel like a sucker punch.
And while I’m not in that headspace now, I have been. Boy, have I been.
Top Comments
Kate's pregnancy was announced weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I was due July 20th and a bit excited to find out if my son would be born the same day as a prince. Emerson was born still at 30 weeks. As happy as I am for the royal family, I hate to admit the sting I felt when I heard the news of the birth. Not anger or resentment but the sting of loss. It's nice to know other women understand how joy and pain can be so intertwined.
Hi Bec,
I have been (thoroughly enjoying) going through all your past blog posts on here.
I just wanted to thank you so so much for this post. I feel like you're the first person to understand how I have been feeling. There's such kindness in this post! I am lucky to have found this.
Also, I love all of your writing- funny, warm, kind. Clearly you rock