Kate's 'editing fail' doesn't airbrush away the real problem at Prince William's palace.

Mums, they're so silly, aren't they? 

In a bid to get one nice picture of all the kids smiling at once they'll go to all kinds of lengths: Bribery. Threats. And, in the case of Catherine, Princess of Wales, amateur editing fails that spark international conspiracy theories sweeping up the most credible news and photo agencies on the planet. 

Oops. 

Here's how it started:

Never has a pair of skinny jeans taken on such significance. At about 8pm on Sunday, Australian time, one particular pair became the talisman for belief that all the hand-wringing and concern-trolling about the health of Catherine, Princess Of Wales had been very silly indeed. Kate was wearing the jeans in an image of her at home with her children, ostensibly taken recently by Prince William to celebrate Mothering Sunday and to convey that all was well in house Wales after weeks of fevered speculation about the Princess’s wellbeing. 

Here it is, if you’re not sick of seeing it (you are):

Image: Instagram/@princeandprincessofwales

Would you wear skinny jeans, or any jeans, the image whispered, if your abdominal surgery was not minor and mended? Would anyone? Wouldn’t a floaty dress be more appropriate for a sore tummy? Or — gasp — loose trousers? 

Look, the jeans declared, there’s nothing to see here. 

That was about the extent of the excitement about the image of Kate for about 12 hours. And then. 

The photo designed to shut everyone up began to fall apart before our eyes.

Charlotte’s hand was wonky. Kate’s face is blurry. Louis is missing a finger. A tree that should be seasonably bare is blooming. The Princess is not wearing her wedding ring.

The whispers leapt from social media muttering into rare and serious action. Four of the world’s biggest news agencies "killed" the picture — declaring it was their policy not to distribute imagery clearly doctored by its "source". 

Translation: Credible agencies think this image, of a princess and her children, is fake. Maybe a little bit fake, maybe a lot fake, but it is not usually in their remit of AP, Reuters and all to pull a picture that they think may have had a little Facetune. The words "composite image" were being thrown around.

And now the Instagram post designed to make us all breathe a sigh of relief about the health of the Princess of Wales has the world hyper-ventilating instead. 

And the strangest royal story in years just got stranger. 

Image: Instagram/@princeandprincessofwales

On Monday night, 24 hours after the original post, the Princess herself posted to Instagram stories, in her own, informal words, to say that she edited the image. That no, this wasn't proof she'd been replaced by an AI Princess bot, but just that she likes to be in control of the family photos (it's well known that she often takes them herself) and she got a bit sloppy with the blur tools. 

It's a smart move. A very human, honest one. But also one that, when we're dealing with a family as powerful and high-profile as the British royals in the current climate, is also kind of astounding.  

It’s been a difficult few years for the Windsors. There was all that nasty stuff with the brothers falling out, ending in losing a prince to Hollywood. One of the senior members was accused of being a sexual predator, and settled out of court. They lost their steady and beloved matriarch. And then, they began 2024 with dual health crises: The King has cancer. The Princess of Wales needs an operation on her abdomen. 

She’ll be out until Easter, Kate’s reps said. We won’t be talking to you about it 'til then. Mind your business. 

We do not mind our business. Starved of information and access, a void is filled by conspiracy and away we go. The Palace doesn’t help by breaking its own stoic game-face. They release three statements about Kate when they said they wouldn’t. And with each ‘nothing to see here’, we become more and more convinced that there’s something to see here, not helped by the Palace’s track record of unconvincing half-truths.  

It’s unquestionably silly, all this. An obsession with a far-away representative of an outdated, problematic institution. A nosy-parker invasion into a woman’s intimate health issues. A need to decipher official communications for Easter eggs as if they’re Taylor Swift videos. 

But also, even with Kate's relatable admission, it's hard to believe there isn't there isn't a bigger problem embedded in the Palace of William and Kate. And it's one that Prince Harry complained about a long time ago. 

The British royal family doesn’t have one overarching publicity machine. Their operations are broken into houses, with their own staff and their own press offices, their own politics and problems, hires and fires. 

Listen to Mamamia Out Loud, where on this episode, Mia, Holly and Jessie talk more about Kate's doctored photo. Post continues after audio.

Harry went into great detail in his memoir Spare about the damage this does, internally, to a family. To have different factions competing for coverage, warring publicity strategies and contradictory messaging. In the early part of his adulthood, Harry wrote, it was he and William against Clarence House, his father’s base. Keen to get the best possible coverage for the man who would be King, his father’s press office would sometimes throw the young Princes under the bus — feeding a tidbit about them to the media, planting a glowing story about what a great father he was, refusing to deny some scrulious gossip about the boys obtained by shady means. In his last years at the Palace, Harry and William had separate press arms, too, constantly leaking and sniping at each other. It's what he hated, he said, and what he wished his brother and father would stop doing. 

Now there’s commentary that Charles’ house has handled the King’s illness and treatment very well, thank you. A posed wave and smile when leaving hospital. Pictures of him reading cards from well-wishes, reports of him working from home, complete with imagery. 

But that's hung Kate's situation out to dry, sitting in direct contrast to how her team is handling this — a woman and mother with a very different issue — and the silence and confusion about how and where she is. Nobody is speculating about Charles' wellbeing. Indeed, when his press office released the news of his cancer they stated that they did so explicitly to "stop speculation". 

Harry’s honest telling of how the royal machine works has exposed a combative attitude to “Comms” and an archaic belief that in the age of instant social media everything, publicly-funded millionaires can control their message, just by staying silent. Maybe they can, but they need much, much better PR people to do it. 

Whatever the story behind Kate’s Mother's Day mess, it’s an unprecedented bin-fire for a beleaguered royal family. 

Because Kate's admission that she was just fiddling with a frame to get the best shot of everyone at once doesn't answer why the Kensington Palace press office allowed the image to be released in that state, and cause such an enormous, damaging distraction. 

Their choice exposed a vulnerable woman — already the subject of extraordinary speculation and gossip — to a fresh and intractable round of suspicion. 

For 24 hours, the news agencies' rulings gave weight to the idea that this could actually be a fake image, created from others to tell a story that might be untrue. It handed the ever-growing number of Kate "Truthers" their ammunition to keep pushing the idea that Kate is not home and well with her kids. That William is not the doting husband behind the camera. That she's not back in her skinny jeans.  

Even with Kate's statement in hand, the Mother's Day mess has become the latest red-flashing data point in a mound of mistakes and missteps that’s making everything worse for a family already having a pretty terrible year. 

And it’s possibly the most chaotic decision a Palace press office has ever made.

Mums. They're just so silly, aren't they?

Feature image: Instagram/@princeandprincessofwales

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