We all know why we’re here.
We’re here because after days of shovelling through the literal trash piles on the internet to try and piece together the truth about the Khloe Kardashian/Tristan Thompson/Jordyn Woods cheating scandal, Jordyn Woods has spoken publicly about her side of the story.
The 21-year-old former (we presume) best friend of Kylie Jenner gave an interview on Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook talk show Red Table Talk on early Saturday morning Australian time to set the record straight about what happened between her and Tristan.
To very quickly recap, last week, news broke that Khloe Kardashian’s partner Tristan Thompson, who is also the father of their daughter True, cheated on Khloe with Khloe’s sister Kylie Jenner’s best friend Jordyn Woods. It’s all very confusing.
Here's a quick timeline of what the heck is going on with the Kardashians before we get into the interview:
- Khloe Kardashian was born.
- Tristan Thompson was born.
- Jordyn Woods was born.
- Kylie Jenner was born.
- Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith's son Jaden Smith was born and somehow he, Kylie and Jordyn became the three best friends anyone's ever had.
- Tristan cheated on Khloe for the first time days before giving birth to baby True.
- Khloe seemingly took Tristan back, her decision, all good.
- News broke that a reporter was at a party at Tristan's house and saw him kissing Jordyn.
- The Kardashians closed ranks and chucked Jordyn out of the family.
- The trailer for the new season of Keeping Up With The Kardashian dropped.
- Kris Jenner is currently counting all her money.
And here we are. Let's get into the Red Table Talk interview.
Still confused? MMOL recapped the Kardashian cheating scandal below, post continues after audio.
Jordyn Woods' Red Table Talk interview with Jada Pinkett Smith.
The Red Table Talk interview begins with an ancient tale of three families and lifelong bonds.
The Kardashian clan. The Woods tribe. And... Will Smith's family?!
According to Jada, her family has been torn apart by this cheating scandal and OK lady, if you say so.
Now, we're talking about some 'grown woman sh*t'. Jada says 'she's been there several times'. Haven't we all. And OH HEY WILL SMITH IS DIALLING IN ON FACETIME TO PROVIDE SOME ANCIENT WISDOM.
"The world attacks," he says. So wise, but also, why is Will Smith smiling? He must have 'been there' too.
"Take your medicine and tell your truth. This world is not going to break you, we will not allow it."
Got that world? Cool, now Jordyn and Jada are sitting at the red table that is in fact a red table and they're holding hands to make a sacrifice to the spirit of Kris Jenner.
Now, they are ready to begin.
What happened between Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson?
Jordyn says: "Sunday night, I went to dinner with some friends, and I went to the spot afterwards where there was a party going on.. I was minding my business, dancing, drinking..." which sounds like the start of every truly terrible decision we've ever made, but continue, please.
After partying at da club, Jordyn says she and her group of friends jumped in a car and went to a house. The house was Tristan's house.
"I shouldn't have been there in the first place, I should have gone home," Jordyn says. Oh honey, we've been there.
Jada reminds us all again that she has also been there, and we're starting to wonder if Jada's OK. Are you OK Jada?
Jordyn also addresses the reports people had their phones taken away as not to accidentally Instagram story Tristan and Jordyn cheating. She says she has no clue who told people to take their phones away (our money's on... Tristan, but what do we know, eh?).
Now we're getting a visual representation of the precise location and dimensions of some living room furniture, and how there were no empty seats so Jordyn was perched on the arm of a chair Tristan was sitting in.
Which... if Tristan's house is anything like Kim and Kanye's mansion, this makes perfect sense. Still, in hindsight, Jordyn probably wishes she'd sat on an unattached piece of floor.
Then, Jada wants to know the exact placement of limbs and body parts because SHE'S BEEN THERE.
'Was your arm around Tristan?' No.
'Where was your butt?' Next to Tristan but not on Tristan.
'Where were your legs?' They were draped over Tristan's.
'Which part of his legs were your legs touching?' I had my legs draped ove- 'WERE YOUR THIGHS TOUCHING TRISTAN'S THIGHS?'
An unidentified area of Jordyn's legs were in contact with Tristan's lower legs.
Ohhhhhh, they were touching his lower legs. It feels like Jada knows exactly what happened that night already, must be because, again, SHE'S BEEN THERE.
Jordyn says she wasn't doing anything intimate with Tristan, but acknowledges what we all know to be true. She shouldn't have been at that party. We wish we could chuck poor Jordyn in a time machine, but we can't, so then we continue onto the part where sh*t goes down.
Now Jada's asking Jordyn about why she left Tristan's house at 7am if she didn't sleep over. Apparently, some people stay out drinking until the sun comes up. This is a revelation to us. Jordyn says that weekend, Tristan's house wasn't the first place she'd stayed at drinking until six in the morning and holy heck we're exhausted just thinking about it.
"This is where the story gets tricky," Jordyn says and YES WE'RE ABOUT TO GET WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR.
Did Jordyn Woods kiss Tristan Thompson?
"As I was leaving, Tristan kissed me," Jordyn says, but Jada needs more. WE ALL NEED MORE.
"No passion, no nothing. It was a kiss on the lips, no tongue kiss, no making out. When alcohol is involved, people make dumb moves." Heck yeah they do.
You can watch this part of Jordyn Woods' Red Table Talk interview here. Post continues after video.
Jordyn says she talked to Kylie and Khloe that morning, she told them she was at Tristan's house, but she wan't honest about kissing Tristan. She thought she was trying to protect Khloe's heart.
She also says she knows she's not the reason why Tristan and Khloe are not together. We also know that because, remember when Tristan cheated on Khloe days before she went into labour? That... might be why they're not together, but we can't know for sure.
Did Jordyn Woods have sex with Tristan Thompson?
Jada cuts to the chase and asks what we all want to know.
DID ???? YOU ???? SLEEP ???? WITH ???? TRISTAN? Jada legitimately clapped her hands.
"Never happened," Jordyn says. "I'm willing to be put to the test, attach me up to a lie detector."
It's here we hoped Will Smith would wheel out a lie detector machine with that bloody smile still plastered on his face, but sadly, this did not happen.
"We've had no relationship over time, no communication, no plans on meeting up, no conversation, nothing."
Next, Jordyn talks about the vicious trolling she and her family have been enduring and it's quite sad.
"I haven't eaten for days, I'd go to sleep and wish I could wake up and this not be real."
"My brother has been unable to go to work, my 12-year-old sister has had to skip school, my mother can't go grocery shopping."
The rest of the conversation is a manifesto on telling the truth. Jada says she told many lies before she learnt that telling the truth is always better. If you've got the time, it's quite enlightening.
Then, Jordyn says the single most relatable thing to come out of this entire interview.
"I think I know what I'm doing, but I have no idea what I'm doing."
To wrap things up, Jada brings out a bowl filled with questions from the public on paper and dear God we hope someone vetted these before they went in there.
It's a bit boring so here's the short version:
- Is this a publicity stunt for the new season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians? "No, it's been real."
- Did you apologise to Khloe? She did over the phone and text, but hasn't spoken face to face.
Now, Jordyn and Jada are laughing. It's all really funny now and mystic chimes start sounding in the background.
"I love you, I'm proud of you, all be well," Jada says, and with three clicks of her heels, so it was.
You can watch the entire Jordyn Woods interview on Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith.
What do you think about this whole Kardashian cheating scandal? Tell us in the comments.