'Three weeks ago, Joan Rivers told me to get off her f**king stage.'

By JOEL CREASEY

One night when I was 15 years old, I remember sitting in bed with my metallic silver Dell laptop that I’d stolen off my sister. It was midnight (on a school night no less) and my parents had recently allowed me to have an internet port installed in my room. Cool right?

Whereas most 15-year-old boys with recently-installed internet connections were probably looking up porn or on msn having cybersex – I sat in bed clicking through videos of this funny lady from America I’d discovered by accident. I sat there for hours watching her on talk shows, game shows, her stand up clips… I pretty much watched every available clip on YouTube.

That was the night I learnt who Joan Rivers was. It was also the night I decided I wanted to be a stand up comedian.

Eight years later Joan Rivers invited me to be her opening act in New York.

It was November of last year. I was 23, freshly heartbroken, on a TV show that wasn’t rating particularly well and travelling to New York to perform as part of the New York Comedy Festival. But mostly going to “find myself” (makes me want to vomit even writing that). I was basically Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love. But substitute the eating, praying and loving for drinking, hooking up with handsome strangers and doing the odd bit of stand up.

Through the stars aligning however (a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend), Joan Rivers came across one of my stand up videos on YouTube – like I had hers many years before – saw I was in New York and invited me to open for her.

Sadly, so many stand up comedians, when they reach the level of television and movie fame that she had, tend to forget about their stand up “roots”. They don’t have to be bothered with live gigs or performing at the comedy clubs they started out in.

Not Joan Rivers.

Once a week in New York, Joan Rivers would perform at the Laurie Beechman Theatre – a 99 seat theatre in Hell’s Kitchen. She’d have notes sticky taped all over the stage, just a small stage, a microphone and bottle of water, and it’s where she’d work on her new material. She’d also donate all the money from these shows to charity.

Not only was she still performing live at 81 years old, she was also writing new material constantly. She’d have the audio of each performance recorded and she’d then listen to it on her flight back to LA and work out which jokes worked and which required work.

No resting on her laurels, which she absolutely could have at 81 fucking years old. But always wanting to better herself.

So in November of last year I got to open for her at one of these shows. It was amazing. Not only a career highlight but a life highlight.

I got to do the same thing again just 3 weeks ago.

This recent time was in fact my birthday and my parents had flown to New York to celebrate it with me and see my solo show ‘Rock God’ I was performing as part of the New York Fringe Festival. Plus I think mum had finished all the alcohol in Western Australia and was looking for a new challenge.

Although I’d opened for Joan before I was again extremely nervous. I mean come on, it’s Joan fucking Rivers. This woman was my hero, the very reason I was there.

The show started late and when I asked why somebody said “Joan isn’t here yet but she wants to watch you so we’ll wait”. Eventually we got word Joan had arrived so they sent me on stage.

I got up, did my 10 minutes of stories and whatnot and then had the supreme honour of introducing Joan Rivers. We did a cordial handshake as she walked on stage to a standing ovation. We crossed over, I walked off the stage and was almost up the back of the room when I heard Joan Rivers say: “Joel Creasey come back here!”.

Three weeks ago I got to stand on stage with my hero, Joan Rivers. She held my hand and told me some of the most special things anyone had told me for over five minutes. I told her my parents were there that night and she then picked them out in the audience and told them I was an amazing comedian and that they are very lucky.

She then read out my review from Time Out New York (it was like, a really really good one stop bringing it up you guys) and she insisted everybody go and see my show and if there was anything she could do to help to let her know.

… Then she told me to get the fuck off the stage as it was her time to perform.

And of course she fucking performed! At 81 years old, she smashed out 90 minutes of the most spectacular stand up comedy (a lot of it brand new) I had ever seen.

Joan was known for being naughty, pushing the boundaries and making controversial remarks. But she said these things about everybody. Everybody. Nobody was safe. As she said… “it’s because we are all equal”. Fuck. Yes.

That said, there will never be an equal to her.

I remember Joan stating a few times nobody had ever called her beautiful. I wish I had told her. Because she is beautiful. Incredibly beautiful.

Joan Rivers is/ was/ perhaps always will be the greatest comedian of all time. A trailblazer a powerhouse, a pioneer, an icon and a sassy bitch.

I love you Joan. I always have.

x

Joel Creasey is one of the brightest stars in Australian comedy.  You can follow him on Facebook here, and on Twitter here.