health

Jessica Simpson just experienced the skinniest day of her life.

Jessica Simpson (L) and Grace Jennings-Edquist (R) might not have a lot in common. But they share one thing: the pressure to be thin before their wedding day.

 

 

 

 

I suddenly feel the urge to debrief with Jessica Simpson.

At first glance, the global superstar and I have nothing in common.

She’s a country music singer, while I’m borderline tone deaf; she’s got her own shoe and handbag lines, while my idea of excellent footwear involves a colour netural enough to last three whole seasons. As an online journalist rather than an international superstar, my net worth is also about $150 million less than hers.

But here’s the thing I need to unpack with Jessica Simpson: the fact that this year we’ve both felt the pressure to be thin on our wedding days. Not just thin but thiiiiiiiiiiin. The thinnest we’ll ever be in our entire life, to be precise.

I’m getting married in March and let me tell you – everywhere I turn this year there are friends and family and magazine stories talking about my supposed goal to reach Peak Bridal Thinness. When I turn down a second serving at dinner, for example, friends flash me a knowing look and a “well, only eight months ’til the wedding…”

Meanwhile, bridal magazines tout ‘fitness plans’ that look suspiciously like they’d make me pass out from lack of nutrients, and wedding dress store assistants insist they won’t arrange alterations until weeks before the wedding because, “well, you’ll probably be dieting – won’t you?”

When exactly–  or how exactly — did we reach a point where ‘being skinny’ becomes the number one item on a bride’s to-do list? When did receiving our wedding photos become about an anxious scan for hints of ‘tuckshop lady arms’, rather than a nostalgic glance back at the day we married the loves of our lives?

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Back to Jessica. She and Eric Johnson got married yesterday in an intimate ceremony at a California ranch — and in the run-up to the big day, the 33-year-old singer admitted that being skinny occupied a prime position on her wedding checklist.

“If I’m in a bathing suit I should pose proudly,” Simpson posted on Instagram last month.

“The wedding coming up is an incentive to stay on the Weight Watchers, count my points and stay in the gym,” she said in a recent promo for the international weight loss company.

“She’s looking super tiny and still being very selective about what she’s eating until after the big day,” E! also quoted a ‘source’ as saying.

Jess followed up her commitment to pre-nupital weight loss with regular selfies showcasing her shrinking (gymwear and swimwear-clad) figure on Instagram.

In Jess’ case, perhaps the bridal thinness pressure is no surprise. After all, Jess has been bullied by tabloids over her figure for years; she can make a whole more money being slim and glamorous; and the undoubtedly breathtaking photos of her wearing a custom Carolina Herrera gown are likely to be pored over by millions of judgmental readers when they’re released.

As a result of all this, it was almost inevitable that Sunday was not only the happiest day of Jessica Simpson’s life — but also the thinnest.

But here’s what I’ve found: the pressure to be ultra-thin in that white dress isn’t felt only by Bridezillas, the famous and the over-photographed. Nope, not even a little bit. Because even though I’ll only have one photographer capturing my happy mug when I say my vows, I feel that pressure.

Even though the only people to leaf through my wedding photos will be my nearest and dearest (and maybe a handful of curious Facebook pals) — that expectation of Peak Bridal Thinness is imposed on me in everyday conversations and flippant remarks tossed arond by friends, family members and even strangers.

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“These are my legs during a workout today! I’m proud of myself,” Simpson posted on Instagram in May.

I know the whole notion that I have to be a skinny bride is rubbish. Sexist rubbish really, because I wonder how many people have asked my fiance Ben what his preferred pre-nupital diet plan is? (Answer: Absolutely and definitely ZERO.)

I know my wedding day is about marrying lovely Ben — who thinks I look good already — and celebrating a milestone with my other loved ones. I know I’m a feminist who chooses to value other women for their intelligence and compassion.

I know this, I know this, I know this.

And somehow, at the weekend I found myself Googling juice cleanses and pre-wedding fasting.

I felt myself being sucked into the ridiculous notion that what will matter most when I stand in front of an altar is not the vows I’ll say to the guy I love, but whether my waist looks lithe in my long lace-and-tulle fishtail gown.

And that isn’t going to change for me, or any bride, so long as we keep bandying around this idea that brides are beautiful, and beautiful is thin. It won’t change as long as we live in a world where the women like Jessica Simpson who are photographed/filmed/written about publicly also aspire to be the thin bride, rather than the happy bride.

I don’t want to obsesses over the number on my wedding dress tag as much as I care about the number of guests who’ll attend the big day. I don’t want to be that woman who aspires to make my wedding The Skinniest Day of My Life.

I don’t want to. But I’m scared I’m going to be.

Jessica Simpson through the ages:

Did you feel pressure to be thin on your wedding day? How did you deal with it?