'I think I'm hallucinating.' The wildest moments from Jennifer Lopez's bonkers new movie on Prime Video.

There aren't many celebrities who can pull off a musical about the ups and downs of their love life, but Jennifer Lopez is no regular celebrity. 

Prime Video's This is Me... Now: A Love Story reflects a story first written in pop culture's history books.

As the diva herself said, the film is "meta" in the way she pokes fun at the media speculation that's surrounded her romantic pursuits, including marriages to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd and Marc Anthony, before finally getting hitched to Ben Affleck following a broken engagement at the beginning of her career.

This movie is not about Jennifer Lopez's music career. It's not even about how she grew up in the Bronx before making it as a pop superstar. It's not about her secret to immortality either. 

This movie is about love. It's about J.Lo's life goal to be in love. 

"Whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always... in love," she muses at the beginning of the film. My answer is always a 'Former Child' but we press on! 

From the moment the film starts, there's A LOT happening.

And yes, that is seemingly a blonde Ben Affleck wearing a prosthetic nose reading the news as a conservative commentator! We see you, Benny! 

Pivot from Sadfleck to Foxfleck. Image: Prime Video. 

Jen begins as a Puerto Rican deity, which turns into a hummingbird (more birds to come later), and then suddenly she's riding a motorcycle. Where is she going? Why is she motorcycling through a lake??

These questions won't be answered, as suddenly she's working in a 'heart factory'.

The factory appears to be collapsing around her and Lopez doesn't help matters by singing and dancing. The backup dancers keep banging on tables as the walls crumble around them. 

This is an emergency J.Lo, start an exit plan!!

But she's all over the shop, riding a wrecking ball up to the top of the warehouse before trying to reignite a flame that I guess keeps the factory's heart alive. 

There's a lot of mixed metaphors going on and I'm not clever enough to keep up.

But time moves fast in Jen's universe and we're now in an office with her therapist who is... Fat Joe. 

Yes, THAT Fat Joe (is there another?). The iconic rapper is offering her some sage advice. 

Fat Joe is tasked with analysing Lopez's dreams which sounds like the most boring job on earth. 

J.Lo is keeping him on his toes though, as she sasses 'You're such a Taurus!' before opening up about dating a new guy. We soon discover this new guy sucks. 

Lopez wakes with the most perfect morning hair I've ever witnessed before her boyfriend starts a fight with her, randomly starts swigging booze, and becomes violent pushing her against a glass wall. (They're inside a glass cube, but it's best not to question what's happening and instead let it wash over you like a strong waft of Glow.)  

Jenny sings a song about rebounding as she's literally bound by ropes to this dud of a dude. "Don't sit over there looking like a victim," Jennifer says, as she leaves him. Boy bye! 

"F**k Libras!" she slams, which is the perfect segue into the most bonkers part of the film: a host of celebrities play astrology signs who watch over Lopez as part of her... zodiac council. 

"What’s with her and all the bad boys?" wonders Scorpio played by Keke Palmer, among a motley crew of celebs ranging from Sofia Vergara and Trevor Noah to Post Malone (he's such a Leo) and Jane Fonda.

The funniest lines are saved for Vergara as Libra, who randomly offers advice such as "Sometimes I chew my hair," to the council.

It's their job to figure out Lopez's love life by sending her signs. They advise her to take her time before jumping into another relationship but as they're gabbing on, Lopez goes and gets married as she performs 'Can't Get Enough' with a rotating roster of grooms.

As soon as the wedding is over, Jenny is already in couples therapy complaining about their marital problems. The marriage (or marriages??) is over before it begins.

Back up in space or Jenny's mind eye or whatever, the celebrities get meta by saying that Jennifer 'runs right through' men, and could be a 'man-eater', a nod to how Lopez and other celebrity women are portrayed in the tabloids. 

Back on earth, Jenny is in her party phase, dating a range of loser men to fill in the void. One of them has a gun!! Alright then! 

Her friends stage an intervention and Fat Joe encourages her to attend a Love Addicts Anonymous class. In the session, Lopez opens up about how she has difficulty falling asleep because she has a "restless heart" and I reckon she should get that checked out. 

The group all perform a contemporary dance for 'Broken Like Me', but all I can focus on is how her dog has just run off. WHO HAS EYES ON FLUFFY. 

Luckily, Fluffy is alive, but the same can't be said for J.Lo's passion for finding someone. Lopez has given up on love! 

She gets invited to an ex's wedding – wait, is this referencing Ben Affleck's wedding to Jennifer Garner a mere year after ending his engagement to Lopez? I like to think so!

Back with Fat Joe, she's talking about a dream she had when she was confronted by herself as a child. 

"I love you," she tells mini Jen.

"You love everyone else but me!" her smaller half shouts. They start to fight!! Oh my God, back off Jenny from the Past! This kid is too much!  

But all is well after she sings a song with her inner child. They're having a fun time! 

I think I'm hallucinating.

Back with the celebrity star signs, they're thrilled Jen has finally found love within herself. She even attends her friend's wedding alone. She's so brave. 

Lopez proudly declares she's happy on her own in her last session with Fat Joe before going outside to dance while getting soaked in the rain... even though she is literally holding an umbrella. 

A hummingbird flies past (which I should have noted earlier means... something), filling her with hope that her soulmate (aka Ben Affleck) is still out there. 

But then we zip to an end scene that reveals she had a hummingbird tattoo all along.

I don't know what that means. She had love all along?? She wants to make her own fate?? She just really likes tiny birds?? Set me free, Jenny! I have questions! 

This movie was actually great. Like, truly bonkers in every way but it just... worked. 

The message of this film (to love yourself) is nothing groundbreaking, but the music is catchy (if not a little inconsistent), the dance numbers and cinematography are stunning, and it's the perfect film to pop on for a night in with your girlfriends. 

Especially, if your bestie starts dating another Gemini. Seriously, run sis. 

This is Me...Now: A Love Story can be streamed now on Prime Video.

Feature images: Prime Video.

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