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FLUFF: Jennifer Lopez's idiot boyfriend told her not to wear short skirts.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh hell no.

HELL. NO.

He did not just say that.

Jennifer Lopez‘s 24-year-old idiot boyfriend has told her that she shouldn’t wear short skirts because she has chunky thighs.

Yep, Casper Smart (not so smart) said the unthinkable to Latina goddess J-Lo, 44. We can scarcely type this story through the blinding rage.

Girl, you need to cut this kid loose. He’s tripping if he thinks it’s OK to disrespect your thighs like this.

Here’s what the print edition of The Enquirer reported on Casper’s behaviour today.

Not-so-smart Casper Smart suddenly wished he’d kept his big yap shut when he went where no guy should EVER go (no words like “fat” or “old,” right, fellas?) and told live-in-love Jennifer Lopez that her thighs are “too big” for the short minidresses she sports on American Idol…YeeeOWWW!…

Spotting smoke blasting from her ears, ex-backup dancer/toyboy Casper back-pedaled pronto, saying that he didn’t mean that she’s got… er, fat thighs — it’s just that her thighs aren’t… her best asset, maybe?… YeeIKES! … (Dude, even for a guy, sostoopid!) Jennifer erupted instantly, shrieking: “If you’re not saying my thighs are fat — then what are you saying?

Desperate to save himself, Casper stammered: “I just meant your thighs are… muscular!” En fuego, the superstar songstress shot back: “I thought you liked my thighs! But if you don’t like what you see …!” Before she could utter another word, crushed Casper started babbling apologies/sweet-talk nonstop — and the very next night, JLo strutted onto the Idol stage flaunting a teeny-tiny micro-dress as Casper shot her a loving thumbs-up!

Damn, Casper. You really moon-walked your way into a stupid corner there. Real stupid.

Obviously, it goes without saying that Jennifer’s thighs are fabulous. Everything about Jennifer Lopez is fabulous. EVERYTHING. FABULOUS.

While we rate J-Lo’s reaction here pretty highly, we’re disappointed that she’d stay with someone this dumb. They’ve been together two whole years.

And this isn’t the first time Casper Smart has sabotaged Jennifer’s career, life, self-esteem or body confidence.

Recently, he made a massive industry faux pas by confirming that J-Lo would return as a judge for the next season of American Idol in an interview – rather than leaving it to Jennifer and the network to make that announcement.

To punish him for his indiscretion, Jennifer apparently cut Casper’s pocket money – down from the $10,000 allowance he gets every month.

J-Lo has opened up about what she looks for in a relationship after she divorced her husband Marc Anthony in 2011, after seven years of marriage.

To be honest, doesn’t sound a helluva lot like she’s describing her romance with Casper here:

“It’s about finding a relationship that has enough good stuff to outweigh the bad, because nobody’s perfect right?,” she told Glamour UK. “But without the spark that conflict brings, life would be so boring. I want a bit of chaos in a relationship, but I also want a bit of safety and order.”

And this is what she’s said about her seriously bodacious bod:

“Mentally, I’m always thinking about it,” she said. “I’m OK looking this way, but at the same time that very ambitious, determined girl inside me is like, ‘Come on, let’s be in the best shape ever and really show everybody.’ Then the other side of me thinks: ‘Let’s just relax on the beach chair.'”

 

 

Oh, just a retrospective on the amazing looks of Jennifer Lopez….

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Top Comments

AlwaysPunchingRobots 9 years ago

It's kind of hard not to have wide thighs when you have a big booty.

A skinny 6ft man looks better in a kilt than a short stalky woman looks in a skirt.


guest 11 years ago

I think the Enquirer made it up!