In the throes of her addiction, Jackie O remembers waking in "fear" of herself.
The radio host opened up on Mamamia's No Filter podcast about losing time to "blackouts" brought on by mixing alcohol and prescription medication.
At her addiction's peak, she was consuming 24 potent codeine tablets daily, along with 14 Stilnox sleeping pills, and alcohol.
Jackie O's slide into addiction started about seven years ago — the same time her marriage was breaking down.
It started as a coping mechanism, she tells host Mia Freedman.
"Friends would come over but they would also see I was drinking a goblet of wine, so they just put that down to going through a divorce, turning to a bit more alcohol… it doesn't warrant an intervention," Jackie said.
Listen to Jackie-O on the addiction that almost killed her on Mamamia's No Filter. Post continues below.
It was those early days when the Stilnox had the greatest effects.
Alcohol up first, then sleeping pills throughout the day created "blackout" periods.
"You're functioning normally but you can't remember anything you did the night before," Jackie explained.
"I'd almost wake up in fear of, 'What did I do?'"
One moment still haunts her.
"I remember waking up one morning and I got this message from this guy and he said, 'Yeah, that sounds good but you should be careful who you say something like that to' and I was like, 'Oh my God, what did I say to this guy'."