Hello.
Yes.
On Wednesday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, we saw a different kind of love story.
It was the story of boy meets… avocado.
You see, Ivan has been very busy all his life trying to be a shit Channing Tatum and he’d never come across an… avocado.
He didn’t know what to do with them and this happened…
It was confusing for him.
So, being the serious investigative journalist that I am, I got Ivan on the phone to get to the bottom of #AvocadoGate.
The conversation went a little bit like this:
Anywho, Ivan confirmed that yes - he did put two whole avocados in the blender and yes - he didn't understand why that did not work.
"It was a high pressure stakes situation and you know, I was just reading what was there on the paper and it said 'two whole avocados in the blender' so that's what I did," he explained.
"They let me go for 15 minutes at least. So I was like unplugging the cord, switching the switch, shaking the blender to get it started, pushing all the buttons. I did everything but think about the pip and the skin.
"And they let me go for about 15 minutes, like do my own head in. I was checking the paper 'Did I miss something?' and then finally they called me over and said "Dude, scrape it out and start again'... when they had finished laughing."
Ivan also confirmed that four avocados were harmed in the making of this episode. He had a second go at the recipe and this time it was... kind of edible. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Once we got to the bottom of the avocado issue, I asked Ivan the question all of Australia has been dying to know.
DID YOU REALLY DANCE ALL THE TIME/ DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A SHIT CHANNING TATUM/WHY WAS THERE NEVER ANY MUSIC PLS.
"I did... dance a lot. But a lot of time it was with music," he said.
"But sometimes they'd come up and say 'Oi give us a move' and I'd say 'Oh alright'.
"Like sometimes they'd prep me for it... but sometimes I was actually doing it."
We unpack the best moments from Ali's latest week in the mansion on our Bach Chat podcast. Post continues after audio.
Channing Tatum's biggest fan then explained that the "Step Up" he was referring to all the time is a TV series, based on the movies called Step Up: Highwater.
It actually sounds like a bloody good watch.
"There's a series going on right now. They just finished filming season two in Atlanta and I think they're going to season three now as well."
Ivan said that although he's not quite on "Step Up" yet, he's... getting there.
"Let's just say I've made a bit of progress and I'm going to keep working and dreaming and I think it will happen."
And he has a plan pls.
"I'd love to do Dancing with the Stars, Channel Ten are revamping it," he explained.
"I'd love to learn a different style - you know - it's ballroom and all that. And obviously you do it with a partner as well, so who knows, if I get an awesome partner that could be my next girlfriend.
"It's a win win."
It sure is, buddy, it sure is.