Image: @thenutribullet
We’ve all been there, right? For some unknown reason we’ve found ourselves awake at 2am and being suckered into an Infomercial.
You may have been up feeding a baby (which was my first and own personal introduction to late night television shopping), or perhaps you’ve just come home from a massive night out on the town, flicked on the TV and thought to yourself, ‘Fuck yes, I definitely need one of those ladders that bends 357 different ways, where is my credit card?’
Maybe, just maybe, you don’t even have the late night lobotomy excuse. Perhaps, like my husband, you only needed to walk past the television once during a morning show on a rained out Wednesday and BAM, your household suddenly has a Tower 200 in its possession.
New workout gear that will make you want to exercise.
Have you heard of the Tower 200? Body by Jake? "Got a door, then you’ve got a Gym?" Is this ringing any bells? No? Well, let me explain.
A few years back I went on something of a fitness kick and managed to lose quite a bit of weight. There was no secret to it - I just moved more and ate less (although a kick arse vomiting bug brought home by my 3 year-old certainly helped kick things off). My husband, although appreciative that we could now comfortably share the same two-seater couch, started to feel like he needed to get moving also. Hence, the Tower 200. Basically it was just a pulley resistance system, with some hyperactive dude showing you how to use it on a DVD. It needs to be noted this contraption just arrived on our door one day:
See, it seems my husband struggled to find the toilet paper in Coles, but had no problem finding his way around the Danoz Direct store. I digress.
I gave it three weeks. Tops. See, we had a precedent, he and I. We had shall we say, a history. A history of being impulse buyers.
Exhibit A: The Magic Bullet. Geez, this seemed like such a good idea at the time. I had a small child who would eat nothing. One morning, at 10am on an unspectacular Tuesday, I felt like I could change all that. With the Magic Bullet.
Apparently it was this amazing machine that would only take up the space of a coffee cup on my kitchen bench top and then magically whisk concoctions into foolproof vegetable purees. Bullshit. It came with about one thousand pieces, none of which made any sense and pureed nothing. It went on to live a quiet, unfilled life in the saucepan drawer.
“I tried an Instyler. Minutes later I could smell my hair burning.”
So why then, when aimlessly flicking through the channels the other day, did I not only come across, but get hooked on the NutriBullet, a slicker, more modern version of the Magic Bullet? Because I want to get healthy. And like any red-blooded Australian, I needed an incentive. My incentive? No pulp.
See, I have a thing about bits in juice. I cannot handle it and as I watched the guy on TV whizz broccoli and carrots into oblivion, my first thought was, “who the hell drinks broccoli smoothies?” and the second, I NEEDED this thing. Like, yesterday.
I declared to my family who looked slightly alarmed at my ferocity, that I was going to buy one of these and we were going to become a healthy, smoothie/juice loving family.
Because LOOK at THIS:
And yes, I did do some homework this time. Mainly because I wanted to see if I could get it cheaper somewhere else but I also asked my esteemed friends and family their opinion. It was met with this:
"I got one for Xmas. We all use it every day several times a day. It's amazing!"
"BEST. KITCHEN. DEVICE. EVER (I think the Thermomix army might just have something to say about that but let’s not go there)"
"We just got one. Early days but I am hooked!"
"Use it daily. Twice, today. It has a stronger motor than the magic bullet, which I bought first and never use because it's not strong enough for frozen fruit. Loud as hell, but worth the price."
"I make awesome smoothies with a tin of coconut milk, ice and frozen berries. Done and dusted in seconds. Kids will love it! Make green juices with a dash of pineapple and green apple for sweetness."
SOLD, right? I mean, apart from a few other comments that advised me to "take out a second mortgage” and “can I interest you in a free set of steak knives?”, the overwhelming consensus was a positive one.
Mia Freedman: “What really goes into my green smoothie.”
Ahh, who am I kidding, I was always going to buy one. But mainly because I feel like I have to DO something. And this contraption seems like as a good a place as any to start. And sure, this may say more about my ability to be sucked into slick advertising then anything else, but I’m willing to give this one a go. I’ll report back with my verdict.
So what about you? Have you succumbed to a product you just never knew you needed until they threw in a free set of cast iron saucepans? Has it been a success of ultimate fail?