Is parenting harder now than ever before? 10 women share their thoughts.

A new US survey reports that parents today find the act of parenting harder than ever before. 

Two thirds of respondents said that it’s harder than they thought it would be and more than one quarter of them said it’s a lot harder than expected.

Watch: Parenting 101, lessons for newbies. Post continues below.

As parents in 2023, it seems we worry about being 'hands on' with our kids, while juggling the demands of work and the cost of living. Never mind the pressure of navigating after-school activities, our own hobbies, and the complexities of new technology. 

And according to this survey, the biggest parental worry of all was mental health, shortly followed by bullying.

With so much to worry about, is parenting in 2023 actually harder than it has ever been or are us Gen X and millennial parents just overthinking it all? 

We asked our Mamamia community to find out what they thought. Here's what 10 of them had to say on whether parenting in 2023 is harder than ever before.

1. "The pressure to conform and perform is immense!"

"I can't speak for parents who did it in decades gone by as we only have one baby (I'm due with number two soon), but the pressure to conform and perform is immense! And each year as they grow, it's just another thing to consider. (Are they developing well? Are they enrolled in early childhood activities? What's their schooling look like?) I personally don't believe our parents ever felt these things.

"All this new research and advice just makes you feel like you should know and be across it all when really you are just trying to make things work. Parenting is no longer trust your gut and lean on those around you (as our parents typically had friends that went through life stages together) but instead research, find the best resource, question, stress and repeat because now the options are limitless." - Eliza.

2. "I'm constantly failing."

"I have no idea how hard things were in years gone by but I feel personally with a three-year-old and five-year-old that I’m constantly failing. There’s so much research about many aspects of parenting and child development and there’s so much information available that it can be overwhelming. As my kids are getting older, I’m often questioning my decisions and feeling like I’m not good enough for them.

"On another note, having them grow up with technology is a scary thought. Knowing that my kids will be exposed to goodness knows what gives me anxiety.

"I know when I mention various things I worry about with my parents I often hear them say, 'We never had that issue when you were growing up.'" - Sandra.

3. "Workplaces are demanding more of us."

"I think parents are working more hours than previously and workplaces are demanding more of us. I reckon that's a big factor. There are a lot of overheads for life in general in 2023. Cybersecurity, cost of living, COVID safety, environmental issues, etc. I think it's hard for everyone - parents or not. And that's before even getting to the big issues like the war or the floods." - Anne.

4. "I actually think it's easier."

"I actually think it’s easier if you use the technology for you. Like geofencing, location settings, and screen time parental controls. I think our understanding of mental health has improved and we are better able to help kids who are struggling. 

"We understand so much more than we used to about teens and their brains these days (Mia's No Filter chat with David Gillespie was great on this topic). I also think it’s easier because we are more comfortable than previous generations to talk about teen sex and protective behaviours. It's a different life for teens because of technology, but our access to information and their access to information is better these days.

"I'm a mum of five high schoolers at the moment, and once you understand their lives and their needs, it's not so hard.

"It used to be that parents had no idea where their kids were, and now we can easily see where they are. I'm glad I'm a mum of teens now and not 20 years ago." - Nathalie.

Listen to Mamamia's podcast for parents of teens, Help! I Have A Teenager. Post continues below. 

5. "It has been extremely difficult but is now very rewarding."

"My children are just over 18 but helping them navigate the HSC, tertiary studies, and starting their first job all from their bedrooms has been extremely difficult but now very rewarding to see them overcome these challenges." - Rhianna.

6. "It's just different." 

"How can you compare?! And why compare, really? It’s just different. Some things are easier and some are harder. I’m grateful for wipes, disposable nappies, washing machines, running hot water. And (while we’ve still got a long way to go) maternity leave, jobs opportunities, a tad more equality, etc.

"We also have greater access to information on how to nurture our kids and enable them to thrive (obviously this is complicated). Also great access to medical care, and occasional free dental for the kids." - Hannah.

7. "I’m not sh*t, it’s just that hard."

" I had a bit of a meltdown when I arrived at work one morning as a new mum of three.

"‘So much happens before 8am before I get here. I’m exhausted. 'How did you do it with FOUR?!' I asked a colleague. She replied with, 'We didn’t. Most of us stopped working when our kids were little and started back years later. Our job was just the kids.' That was a bit of an, 'Ohhhh, I’m not sh*t, it’s just that hard' moment for me. - Michelle.

8. "My kids were healthy, clothed, fed and educated."

"I did not find parenting hard but I think I would have if social media was a thing and I was reading all the things I should have been doing. My kids were healthy, clothed, fed and educated. Nothing else really mattered." - Virginia.

9. "The challenges are different with each era."

"To be honest, I don't think parenting has ever been easy but the challenges are different with each era. Remember, once upon a time it was not a given that an infant would make it to their first birthday." - Angela.

10. "All that comparison en masse with other women and mothers could be brutal."

"When I see my niece and nephew with their daughter using informative videos from YouTube to help her learn to speak I think, 'Wow, I didn't even have ADSL when my son was born!' I didn't have access to Facebook groups with instant answers, etc. The most advanced piece of tech we had was a DVD player and I would say not having to navigate devices when they were very little was heaven. All that comparison en masse with other women and mothers could be brutal. Technology only became an issue as they grew up and schools insisted on devices. 

"I am not sure that the needs of teenagers have really changed all that much in terms of feeling loved/valued/respected/safe/secure but how we meet those needs for some has definitely changed though. Sexting and revenge porn are certainly issues we never had to deal with the same way as kids today." - Cathy.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Getty.