When a friend yells insults at their children in front of you, should you say something? This dad needs advice.
I have a mate of more than 20 years who is being really rude and aggressive towards his kids.
He’s always spoken badly to his wife, but over the past year I’ve noticed it getting worse and I don’t know what to do.
I understand that it can be hard to leave work pressures at home, and that sometimes kids can get rowdy and you feel like snapping. All our kids are under 10 years old so of course things seem out of control on occasion. But calling your kids “retard”, “idiot” and “stupid”, telling them to “go to hell”, and then telling your wife to “shut the f… up” in front of the kids is sending all the wrong messages.
It hit breaking point recently when all this happened in front of my kids, and he then referred to the group of kids eating dinner, including his kids and mine, as “spastics”. I’ve never seen him be physically aggressive, but verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging in many ways.
I’ve valued our friendship over the past decades, but I don’t want my children seeing this from someone they think is a family friend – especially if they don’t then see me react and pull him into line. I also don’t like seeing his kids, or his wife, being treated so poorly. His wife can stick up for herself (and she sometimes does) unless he becomes physically abusive towards her, but the kids can’t.
Do I just abandon the friendship and avoid him? Do I pull him aside next time I see it happening and tell him what I think? Or should I dress him down in front of whoever is in the room?
What should I do?
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