You know that old saying, “Love is blind?” Well, my version is “Love is colour-blind”.
I’m one half of what you may call an “interracial couple”, and even though we live in a multicultural area, the reactions and comments we get constantly surprise me. Naively, I had been colour-blind in my loved-up state, I hadn’t realised that our different skin colours would attract so much attention.
When we fell in love over 10 years ago, I just saw us as a guy and a girl. I didn’t see us as “Chinese Carla” and “White Jeff”. But now, even though our marriage is stronger than ever, the racial differences between us have become glaringly apparent.
When people meet us for the first time, our obvious racial differences are often the first thing that they notice. This invites bizarre questions as well as the assumption that we’re actually not even a couple at all.
For some, there’s the assumption that I’ve somehow dissed my entire race by marrying a white guy. “But… don’t you like Asian guys?” many have asked.
As I said before, for me, love is colour-blind. I’ve had crushes on guys of all different races. It just so happens that the one I fell in love with was white. Marrying Jeff was about love and all the mushy stuff – it was about us – and not a statement for or against an entire race.
There are certain stereotypes that haunt interracial couples, particularly when the woman is Asian and the man is white.
I hate the idea that one race is “better” than the other – last time I checked, that was called racism, whether it’s couched as a compliment or not. And it certainly hasn’t been the case in my relationship.
Another strange perception about Asian wives and girlfriends is that they are somehow perfect, subservient domestic helpers during the day and by night, “tigers in the bedroom”.