Today my daughter and I caught up with a friend for coffee and she said; “I have wondered if you always get nice photos of Everly at brunch because she’s incredibly well behaved… but I see now that she’s not.”
After I got over being mildly offended, (was she saying my child isn’t perfect??) it made me think about how often you see other people’s Instagram feeds and think they’ve got it all together… when in reality, it’s just a normal person choosing to share the nice parts of their life with you.
So, what are some things to remember when you’re looking at Instagram feeds? To start with, feeds are generally ‘curated’; planned ahead, often with edited photos using a preset for a consistent look, or ‘real’; a day to day look at someone’s life with candid, realistic photos.
Of course there are MAAAANY other categories in between, but very basically, it boils down to these two. Neither is better, worse, fake, or less important than the other, they’re just different. They might appeal to different people or they might appeal to the same people but in different ways.
As an example, we’ll look at my own feed (curated) and a good friend of mine Elisha’s (real).
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So what do these parents actually get out of this whole posting highly curated photos of their kids on Instagram thing? Ok yeah your kid is cute, most kids are. In reality though why are you going to these efforts to try and convey false perfection of your kids and lives? Are the parents that starved of attention? Imagine all the amazing and fun experiences that could be had engaging with your kids in the time you spend trying to get these perfect and "candid" photos, to basically please strangers on the internet. It's weird. Kids don't need a fan club or social media following, they should be playing and acting naturally as children do and not posing for photos so parents can get a good pic for the gram. Not criticising, each to their own, but I'd be curious to hear why parents do this and for who's benefits if any.
I agree. Why ? It does not make you the worst parent in the world or anything but you are really just playing dolls. Tracksuit, snot, mud & chasing beetles without an audience of half wits for me please.
I think part of the answer to this question lies in the money. They create a curated feed because it results in sponsors who pay them to maintain the facade. Bloggers and influencers who choose to monetise their child's life and sell their right to privacy are really making a deal with the Devil. Better to get a real job than pimp your kids on social media. Nothing good can come of it in the long run.
BUT sometimes also these Mums want to stay at home with their children, and not have to do the 9-5 slog (been there, done that). Sometimes blogging, influencing and generally being paid to do this sort of work helps someone be home more and not miss out on these "moments" and you spend possibly up to 15-30mins on getting that staged "photo" then your child does play, wrestle, get dirty, read, make a mess, just like every other child for the other 99% of their day!. All the hard work is in the edits, engagement, blog and IG promoting, which many (including me) spend the evenings once the babes are down doing! but like you said, each to their own!