This weekend, Megan Adie shared her traumatic, bewildering story with the world.
Three years ago, when she was just 15 years old, Megan was duped into having sex with a 23-year-old woman who was pretending to be a schoolboy.
Speaking on the Jeremy Kyle Show beside her now boyfriend, Megan told Kyle about how she met Chris Wilson, who she believed to be 17-years-old, at a theme park before developing a romantic relationship with him.
Megan lost her virginity to Chris, and only after having sex with him on 39 occasions did she realise that Chris was in fact a woman by the name of Christine Wilson, 26.
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It kind of sounds like rape to me.
What I find interesting about this story is that mamamia agrees that it is bad that this person deceived her, but you are also very pro supporting trans gender people.
I'm not making a judgement on trans gender people but it does raise the issue that a fully transitioned person may quite like, in their new gender, have sexual relationships, does this mean they should be telling each sex partner that they are in fact trans gender? Would it not be equally deceitful if they don't tell? The irony is if I worked with a person who is now calling themselves a man but was born biologically a female and I refused to call this person a male people would say I'm being discriminatory yet if I have a sexual relationship with someone, who without my knowledge was born a woman but is now calling themselves a male I'm apparently allowed to take this person to court for masquerading as a male!
I'm not making any judgements here I am just saying that don't you see by decrying this person but on the other hand supporting a persons believe to be called whatever gender they wish to be means that mamamia is being very contradictory.
Unless of course your concern is more about the fact this person had sex with an underage girl, and that is I agree very wrong. (On another tangent I thought it was weird that she said she didn't want to have sex at a crazy young age, yet 15 is actually illegal, so what is her idea of too young?)
So I'm wondering what other people think here, if you think it is ok for some to change their gender from say woman to man and for all intents and purposes live as a man to the point that you may have no idea that this person you work with or is an acquaintance etc was formerly a woman, if you have no problem with this then would you still feel this way if you are a heterosexual woman and this "man" had a relationship with you without you knowing that they had ever been a woman. Would you be ok with this?
I'm not making any judgements I'm just curious what people think because I think this whole transgender thing raises a lot of issues that can't just be swept away as "ok they are now a man let's call them a man end of story".
I for one don't know if I would really care less if I found out the person I was dating and happy with had previously been the same sex though I would certainly be incredibly shocked, but it does raise the issue does this make me a lesbian, and therefore is heterosexuality just some fallacy if a person who is normally heterosexual can form a sexual relationship thinking the person is a man but it turns out the person is biologically a woman.
I think the issue at hand here is that the person knew that they were violating the girl's trust, which I think is quite obvious by the fact that they "pinned her arms down" and wouldn't let her see their body. The issue of them telling a sexual partner about them being transgender is a moral one. If they some sort of idea that the person would not be comfortable having intimate relations with them if they knew of their situation and use that as reason as to not tell their partner about their transgender-ness (I'm making up words now!), I would imagine that would be a violation of one's trust. At the end of the day, this is a 15 year old girl who was used, lied to and ultimately exploited by a dishonest person. She had no previous sexual history and didn't know about the strange dynamic she was a part of, and was exploited due to her naivety. It's also important to note that this was a 23 year old woman who pretended to be a 17 year old school boy. That degree of deception alone is enough to warrant a court case.
Mamamia are decrying this person because they are a sexual predator who lied to a young girl in order to have sex with her, not because they identify as trans.
It all comes down to consent. This young woman may still have had sex with him if he'd told her, she might not. The point is, she didn't have all the facts, and she should have. It's her choice, and this person took that choice away from her. Megan was manipulated by someone much older and more experienced, which is a huge betrayal of her trust. Referring to a transgender person by their chosen gender/pronouns is a completely different issue. And telling her to get over it is just appalling, clearly this person has no understanding of what he's done.
I can't say how I would feel as it has never happened to me and if you've built up a chemistry then it may not matter, but I 100% believe that trans (fully transitioned or not) should tell their new sexual partner prior to any intimacy occurring - they have a right to know. It is something that can affect the future of the relationship in many ways (for eg, natural reproduction wouldn't be an option & no kids can be a deal breaker for some). Imagine building up a long term partnership and finding out something like this on the grapevine - how upsetting would that be.
I think the 'underage girl' part is a disturbing part of the story, and I also think that being 'pro transgender' doesn't mean supporting being deceptive in a relationship. The point you are missing is that, at the time, Chris was biologically a woman, and went to great lengths to conceal this and have sex with the woman. If I'm not having sex with you, I don't need to know what your bits look like, but concealing that, and especially doing so because you know that if you are honest you won't be able to gain consent from the person, is not on. It's foul. Calling Chris by his preferred pronoun is not condoning the fact he hid his biological gender in order to have sex with a woman who would not have consented had she known the truth. Consider if a married person had an affair and the other party knew they were married, whatever. Hiding the fact you are married and having a romantic relationship with a 17 year old who loses their virginity to you? That's awful. It's deceptive and selfish and wrong. People in relationships should be able to make informed decisions, especially when its not something 'in the past' - again, Chris was biologically a woman at the time, regardless of how he felt. He should have told her.
For the rest of your comment, I suggest reading up a bit. Most people would say that this woman is not a lesbian - she was attracted to and had a relationship with who she thought was a man. I would say that a heterosexual woman could have a relationship with a trans man and still be straight.