Maybe it’s time we all came clean.
If you have kids, you’ve probably found yourself saying some variation of this at some point – “Of course, I can never regret [fill-in-the-blank], because otherwise, my kid(s) wouldn’t be here!”
And if you don’t have kids, you’ve probably heard your parent friends say it.
Maybe that fill-in-the-blank is an ill-considered marriage, an abusive relationship, or a one-night stand. Maybe it’s not finishing a degree, turning down a job offer, or staying put in your hometown instead of moving. But whatever it is, one thing seems to hold true: once you’re a parent, you’re not allowed to look back at your past and say you’d do anything differently, if it means your child(ren) might not have been born.
I get it. I’ve got two daughters. I love them with everything I am. The world without them in it is unimaginable. How could I ever wish that they were never born? And I don’t. But the truth is, if I could go back, I would do things differently.
Top Comments
Oh yes, it is definitely complicated being a parent! The key takeaway from this article - I think - is having a family with the wrong person, and the many impacts of that. I genuinely think you cannot put a price on having a compatible, committed partner with whom you have physical, mental and emotional chemistry. You can be quite different from one another, but if you have those, and if you communicate well, respect each other, and support each other's goals, that is be the key. Be on the same team, work together instead of being in opposition like a competition. Have together time, and me time, in addition to parenting time and the chores/admin/errands of life, which I know mothers tend to sacrifice themselves for. Aim for a balanced household, not a perfect one. You need room for self-care, or you'll burn out and resentment will build.