I almost screwed up my wedding

I have cake-regret. Lana has perm-remorse. Meanwhile Mia still has nightmares over her too-long-guestlist.

Let me explain.

Each of us screwed up some aspect of our wedding and frankly, if we could have the big day all over again, there are things we would change. Quite a few things. Like what? Take a seat, this could take a while …

For me it’s the cake. I loved everything about my wedding except the cake which was a complete let down. It looked lame and it tasted like something I could have cooked from a packet. Drunk.  I’m not sure any of my guests cared because, well, they actually were all drunk. But you know what? When I see photos of our wedding cake I cringe inside and wish I’d spent more money on some deluxe, multi-layered extravaganza. Instead I took a photo of a rather simple (but classic) cake I’d seen in a Martha Stewart Weddings magazine and asked my local bakery to replicate it (which they assured me they could).  Turns out they couldn’t. And so I essentially served my guests a sponge cake at my wedding. A SPONGE CAKE!  And  actually now that I’m thinking about my wedding to Brad, I also regret that we didn’t do a first dance. I just didn’t want to. The thought of everyone staring at Brad and me while we danced to a song that meant everything to us was more than I could handle. Too private.  But now, looking back, I kinda wish we had.  And that’s my second wedding. My FIRST wedding was in a Las Vegas wedding chapel. What would I change about that wedding? Oh, I don’t know, say maybe THE GROOM.  Let’s move on to Lana…

Ask Mamamia’s Managing Editor Lana what she regrets about her wedding and she’ll tell you before you’ve even finished asking the question: her hair.  For some reason (only known to Lana and her possibly stoned hair stylist) they decided to perm Lana’s hair the day before her wedding.  I’m not even sure what else to say about that.

Meanwhile Mia says she invited waaaaaaaaaaaay too many people to her wedding. Like, WAY too many people.

So what started this whole conversation on our desire for a wedding do-over? It was this recent column by LifeStyled’s Paula Joye ….

What the hell happens to a woman’s sense of style when she becomes a bride? Seriously. Bride-to-Be is not code for makeover and yet many are choosing their wedding day as the ultimate transformation opportunity. It’s natural to want to look your best, feel beautiful, even make other women jealous but when it comes to bridal wardrobes some women seem to lose their minds. I mean way.

I went to nuptials recently where this happened like I’ve never seen it happen before. The bride, who’s a great looking woman with a fairly conservative style. completely lost her fashion mojo. I imagined she would have opted for a Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy type of wedding but I was unbelievably inaccurate.

She walked down the aisle wearing something that looked like it had come out of the costume archive from Gone With The Wind. The part where Scarlett O’Hara makes her dresses from curtains. The gown had a hoop skirt that was so big she couldn’t actually fit between the pews of the church. There was tulle, bows, lace overlay, a red velvet sash, a tiara and veil to rival Princess Diana’s and one of those cascading waterfall bouquets. This wasn’t the worst part.

She decided to try out a whole new hair and make-up look too. Her usual understated glow was replaced with black liquid liner, red lipstick and ringlets. I think they were supposed to be “gentle waves” but she looked like the captain of the Good Ship Lollipop. She didn’t rest there. Each of her SEVEN bridesmaids were dressed in red velvet puff-sleeve gowns (to match the sash) and forced to carry miniature hatboxes filled with white butterflies to release after the ceremony.

We’ve put together a gallery of celebrity weddings from over the years – from Kate Moss to Kate Middleton, they’re here…

So if you’ve been married is there anything you wish you could do-over? And if you plan to get married one day, how do you hope to regret-proof your big day?