Oh… dear.
Of all the surprises you could be faced with on your wedding night, discovering your husband has failed to tell you he has an, erm, micropenis, probably isn’t one to set your marriage in good stead for the future.
A woman has posted to Reddit with this exact predicament (ahem, no pun intended) and we feel for her, we really do.
Mamamia staff reveal how they lost their virginity. Post continues after.
She posted to the AITA (am I the arsehole) subreddit to ask whether it’s unreasonable for her to be annoyed that her husband kept the size of his penis a secret by refusing to have sex before getting married.
“Newlywed husband (32M) wanted to wait til marriage for sex and just surprised me (27F) with micropenis on the honeymoon,” she titled the thread.
“So, we only dated for six months. We’ve been engaged for another six and just got married on Saturday. I literally just got back from my honeymoon a couple hours ago,” she explained.
“My husband isn’t a religious guy, he just says he is ‘old fashioned like that.’ We got close to fooling around a couple times but it never went far. I tried, but he always stopped after it went ‘too far’.”
Then, she says, on consummating the marriage, she discovered he wasn’t just “old fashioned” – he had actually been keeping a… pretty massive (or minor?) secret from her.
“Am I the asshole for reading into this and being upset that I waited until my wedding night to find out that he probably isn’t as ‘old fashioned’ as he says he is?” she asked the online community.
“I’m not going to shame him and honestly I don’t even know how I’ll broach the topic… I honestly just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and went to town with him, but… I dunno.
“I kind of feel lied to. Like a half-truth…or something was intentionally withheld from me. This was unexpected, to say the least.”
Oh, we bet.
The woman was adamant the issue wasn’t that her husband actually has a micropenis – the issue is that he kept it a secret, and that he may have been lying about being ‘old fashioned’ because he didn’t want her to know about his penis size.
Which means she unknowingly entered a marriage based on, well, a bit of a lie.
Reddit, understandably so, voted the woman “not the arsehole” for being slightly aggrieved by the situation.
One Redditor called it “a serious trust issue”:
“It’s not the size that’s at issue here, it’s the fact that #1, he didn’t trust her enough to tell her, and #2, now she cannot trust him not to be dishonest.”
Another said: “This was a very deliberate move to keep her in the dark of his ‘flaw’. He might as well have said, ‘I think you are shallow and will leave me for this so I will only reveal it once you can’t leave me’, that is some serious manipulation. Even if he did it to protect his own insecurity, he doesn’t trust her and that is a bigger problem than his… problem.”
And one more added – rather wisely so – “This is why we test drive cars before we sign off on the financing.”
In any case, we wish her luck with the ensuing conversation.
But we imagine it’s going to be… very, very awkward.
Top Comments
I had an old GF I was talking to about Men, Women, and their body issues. For women it's breast size. Regarding a Man's dick size, she said "I See fingers and a tongue, all the rest is just gravy." That's the kind of woman he needs. I think she is right to feel decieved, BUT sounds like she is willing to work on the situation. I Wish them luck.
I've been pretty insecure about my body over the years, and it's had an impact on several relationships. I'd say this bloke has experienced a fair amount of humiliation and loss, I'd say he's probably had relationships in the past that ended once they entered the bedroom. I'd say he was just looking for someone who would love him unconditionally, as we all would want.
I'm not saying that he went about this the right way, he should have been upfront, but I can also understand why he would hide the problem.
Learning how to love unconditionally in the setting of sexual problems is something that often needs work and outside counselling. Hiding something like this until *after* marriage is evidence of either self-sabotage, or proof of blatant disregard/disrespect for one's partner - you can't force someone to love you unconditionally, even if there's a ring on their finger (and especially if you've already kept something important like that a secret - hardly building the foundations of trust there). I agree that the bloke in this story probably has a lot of past history of relationship issues due to his condition - but why should his feelings take priority over that of his partner?
They shouldn't, and I didn't say otherwise.