'On our 10-year anniversary, my husband gave me an envelope. The contents floored me.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

I always thought I was in a loving, rock-solid relationship. All my friends and family would agree that Thomas* and I were quite fabulous, together even though we were complete opposites. I'd been with Thomas for 12 years, married for a decade and absolutely loved him.

He's a typical creative type, so he has days where he likes to keep to himself and other days when I need to listen to him talk about all the things that are inspiring his work.

We had our ups and downs, of course. Who doesn't? Three years ago, he tried to leave. That period of my life was a nightmare. The stress and anguish of that nearly killed me. He basically told me he didn't know if he wanted to be married anymore, that maybe we'd just grown apart.

I was heartbroken, but I couldn't imagine my life without him. I really fought to keep him. So, he agreed to come to marriage counselling, we seemed to work through our issues, and things seemed to get better. We found a way back to each other and I thought things were good again. We don't have kids, which is something we both agreed to a long time ago, so it's always been just the two of us.

I've always been the main breadwinner. My job in finance pays the bills and leaves us with enough for little luxuries. He's an artist, and I never had an issue with that. His work is beautiful, and I've always admired his passion, even though it barely helps pay the bills. Supporting him wasn't something I ever questioned, as I loved him. Always have. He could be moody, and he's got a dreadful temper, but I accepted those quirks as part of who he is.

Watch: The Mamamia Staff share the moment that they knew their relationship was done. Post continues after video.

Our tenth anniversary was supposed to be a celebration of the rebuilding of our relationship. I was excited, and genuinely looking forward to the evening. I booked a table at our favourite restaurant, thinking it'd be a romantic night to mark a milestone. I even bought a new dress for the occasion, something that made me feel pretty. We arrived, ordered our drinks and everything seemed normal. I remember thinking how gorgeous he looked. I also remember that I told him he looked great, but he didn't bother returning the compliment.

And, just as our drinks arrived, so did my shock and horror. He slid an envelope across the table toward me, very casually, like it was nothing. At first, I thought it was an anniversary gift. But, when I opened the envelope I nearly fainted; it was divorce papers. Aside from muttering, WTF, I couldn't really speak.

And so he explained that he was sorry but he was deeply unhappy and it was time for him to go. And then it got worse; he was leaving me for a woman he'd been having an affair with. I asked him, "Who? Marisa*?" – that was my biggest fear. He has always been very close and inappropriate with a "family friend" who is actually his second cousin. When he didn't reply, I knew he'd just confirmed it for me. So I got up and left right away.

He followed me to the car, I was bawling by then, and that's when I asked him how long the affair had been going on and he told me they'd always loved each other and now they want to be together. Thomas had been planning this, leaving me for her. Was this affair going on while we were in counselling, while I was fighting so hard for our marriage?

I asked him why. I think that's all I could manage at first. Just, "Why?"

And he shrugged like it was no big deal. He kept saying he was sorry to hurt me, but I didn't think he was sorry at all. He also said something about how he'd felt trapped for years, how he couldn't keep pretending he was happy in our marriage anymore. I asked him if she had anything to do with it, helping organise the first stage of our divorce, and he just nodded. I thought he was a complete monster to do this to me. He said he'd always love me "as a friend" but what kind of friend does this? It was just so cruel. I cried in the car as he drove us home.

How could someone I've supported in every way possible, treat me like this? For what? A fling with a relative? I hope karma does its work and she ends up dumping him so he will feel the way I feel right now.

I invested everything I had into us, only for him to plan his escape while I was busy trying to keep us together. I was blindsided. Totally blindsided. I can't even describe the hurt and humiliation that covered my whole being.

All this time, I thought we were rebuilding something. But now, I see that he was just biding his time, waiting for the best moment to leave. I tried to contact Marisa, blasting her for destroying my life but she'd already blocked me. So I'll never have a proper closure and I'll never be friends with Thomas. I'm glad we never had kids together because now there is absolutely no reason for me to ever have to see him again.

*Names have been changed due to privacy.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but remained anonymous for privacy purposes.

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