'I forgave my husband for his affair. Then a woman approached me while I was out shopping.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

Three years ago, if anyone had asked me how my marriage was going, I'd have said things were great. And things were great; from my point of view. Robbie* and I had been together for five years, we'd recently bought our first house, he was climbing up the corporate ladder and I was loving running my own business as a florist. We were also planning on starting a family soon, as I was very clucky.

But one afternoon, everything came crashing down.

While Robbie was outside in the garden, his mobile pinged buzzed with a message. I don't normally snoop but something in my head told me to check. The text was from a woman named Sienna*, and the words were far too intimate for a friendly conversation. "Babe, call, I need to talk to you." I felt sick –the fact that Sienna's text appeared on his screen showed me that he wasn't exactly trying to hide anything from me. Was he having an affair? Did he want to get caught?

Watch: The Mamamia team answers the difference between physical and emotional affair. Post continues after video.

I went out to the garden, holding his phone and I asked, "Who is Sienna?" He dropped the rake he'd been using and followed me inside where he told me he'd been having an affair but was trying to end things. He admitted everything, telling me he'd been seeing Sienna for five months. My world crumbled. I was crying, angry, and absolutely shocked.

Then came another blow—he confessed that Sienna was pregnant. My initial reaction was disbelief. How could he let this happen? He promised me that she was going to have a termination. He said neither of them wanted to bring a child into the world given the circumstances. Words can't really describe how horrified I felt, especially as I was so looking forward to being a mother myself. I didn't know how to process it all. I was devastated, but I wanted to believe him when he told me he made a dreadful mistake and he only wanted to be with me.

I asked him to give me space, so he moved out for a short time and then I decided I didn't want to lose him. Some women might just end their relationship immediately, but I did love him very much.

For two years, I tried to rebuild my life. We went through counselling, and slowly, we started to heal. But life had another curveball to throw my way.

One day I was out shopping and a woman approached me with a little girl. She told me her name was Sienna, and that she was sorry for all the trouble she caused. I just froze—and then I looked at her daughter. She had very striking features—dark hair, olive skin, and eyes that were very familiar. She looked just like Robbie, who has a Greek background. My heart sank. I couldn't believe what I was seeing - this little girl was my husband's daughter and promised termination never happened.

I started crying and Sienna walked away while I called Robbie. I basically said, "I just met… your daughter." Of course, he wasn't surprised. He had known for two years that Sienna had had his child, but he said he wanted to keep me in the dark as he didn't want to hurt me all over again. I also couldn't believe that he contributed to a rental for Sienna and their child in a home very close to where we live. So that's why I saw her at the local shops.

It felt like my world was falling apart all over again. The betrayal felt fresh, raw, and quite unbearable. I moved in with a friend for a while and Robbie and I tried to work through things. But, one day, my friend told me something that opened my eyes. She said that I should be the bigger person and try to accept Robbie's child. She said it's not the child's fault that this happened. I already knew what it was like to grow up without a father, so I started thinking that I should rise above the situation and encourage Robbie to spend time with his daughter, openly. Without hiding her from me or anyone else in our family.

Listen to Sealed Section where Chantelle answers three anonymous questions from listeners, who are cheating, or being cheated on. Post continues after podcast.

Forgiving Robbie wasn't easy. It took a lot of time, but I knew that holding onto anger would only poison my heart. I was also frightened that if I left, he would just go back to Sienna. I was also determined to have Robbie's child as I didn't want to deprive myself of that joy. I decided that I needed peace and that's why I wanted to forgive him again. It wasn't about excusing his actions; it was about choosing to heal.

I've since invited Sienna and her daughter into our house. I'm now six months pregnant and I've told Robbie that I want our child to get to know his or her half-sister. My family thinks I'm somewhat of a "saint" but I am far from that – I'm just trying to move on with my life. I've given Robbie my blessing to spend as much time with his daughter as he needs to. It wasn't an easy decision, but I know it was the right one.

Read more of our Real Life stories:

• Eve Wiley was conceived via sperm donation. When she found who the donor was, it devastated her.
• 'At 57 I thought I met the love of my life. Ten months later, he abruptly left because of a "game".'
• 'My husband cheated on me. He said he did because he was jealous of how much I loved our son.'

Feature image: Getty.