Just 8 conversation starters to use in the car with your 13-year-old.

Here's a parenting truth: it can be difficult these days to have a real conversation with your kids, especially if you have a teenager.

And the more they grow, you quickly realise that they are well on their way to having a whole life separate from yours. 

Suddenly, they have new relationships, interests and desires entirely formed on their own, without any (annoying) interference from mum. And of course, you're dying to know all about it.

I've learned that the best time to find out is on the road.

Why? Well, when you're driving, you have a captive audience. Yes, as soon as you pull out the driveway and you hear the click of the doors locking, they are all yours for however long it takes to reach your destination.

Being lucky enough to live close to the city, our family of five actually lived vehicle-free for around four years, but recently, we came to the decision we needed to get one. 

When deciding what we wanted, size was an important factor. 

While vans and people movers are considered the domain of large (four-plus kids) families, we really liked the idea of an eight-seater — like the Mercedes Benz V-Class — because it meant we would be able to fit family and friends visiting from interstate, our three kids could have friends along, and most importantly, my kids wouldn’t have to sit next to each other.

It sounds like a petty reason, I know, but the peace of them not being within punching range of each other is priceless. 

While my kids almost certainly wouldn’t want to look at each other, I’m imagining this as the party van — sunroof open, some bangers pumping out via the MBUX multimedia system (controlled by touchscreen, touchpad or even your voice!) and your most reliable designated driver at the helm. 

The V-Class offers a huge amount of space in the boot—enough for 1030 litres of boogie boards, scooters, soccer balls and whatever else they insist is essential for the trip—meaning you don’t have to cram in all in on top of people.

I have discovered so many unexpected benefits to having wheels again, besides getting from A to B and loading up the back at IKEA. 

The greatest benefit I’d have to say — and I know lots of parents will agree — is the chats with the kids on those drives about town.

Image: Supplied

To help you make the most of your prisoner… I mean, child… here are some conversation starters to have in the vehicle with your teen (I recommend asking open questions — nothing they can grunt or give yes/no answers to!):

1. If you were on Carpool Karaoke, what song would you choose to sing? 

Yes, a scenic drive is an excellent place to have the tough conversations, but you don’t want to come on too strong. This is fun, and you could put the song on and have a singalong. 

2. What movie perfectly describes your life right now?

This is a fun way to incorporate their interests and spark reflection. It also gives you a bit of an understanding of how they're feeling (without being too invasive), based on the type of movie they pick.

Image: Supplied.

3. If everyone in your class at school was asked to describe you as a person, what do you think they would say? Are there people who would say something different to others?

Bullying is a big problem in schools, and while we’d hate to think of our own child being bullied, it’s even worse to think they might be bullies themselves. 

This question can give them pause to reflect on how others perceive them, and the behaviour that influences those perceptions. Subtle, yet effective. 

4. What do you think the world will look like by the time you’re my age? What do you think will have changed, and what will be the same?

You could be more specific here and use your hometown in place of ‘world’, but this will get them thinking. 

5. If you had $10,000 to give to charity or a cause, which would you chose and why? 

This is a great way of finding out what they’re passionate about, and an opportunity to talk about causes, charities and giving back. 

6. Would you rather be five years older or five years younger? Why?

Hypothetical questions are great fun. You can kick off a whole to-and-fro here, with questions that get sillier and sillier as the game goes on. 

You’ll get some insights into your teen and share some good laughs. 

7. What is the biggest challenge in your life right now?

I’ll almost guarantee the answer won’t be what you expect. 

Parents often think they know the answer to this, but they’re looking at life from an adult perspective, not a teen’s. What seems like small potatoes to us can be a huge deal to them, so sit back and listen. 

8. If you could visit any city in the world, where would you go and why?

This is always one of my favourites. Sometimes I'll even change it up and ask what fictional place they would visit if they could.

It also gives me an opportunity to share some of my favourite memories from my holidays abroad.

When selecting your next family vehicle, check out the Mercedes Benz V-Class. It's luxury for the whole family and the perfect place to reconnect with your kids while having meaningful conversations.

Feature Image: Supplied/Mamamia.