Before I had kids, I used to run.
Not very long, not very fast, but on my lunch break, I would go to the gym and run on a treadmill while watching Dr Phil. I got to the point where I could run 5km, while making judgements about poorly educated Americans. On a good day, I would find my rhythm and get into a zone where running just felt completely natural and right.
I’ve never been an athlete, but during those lunch breaks, I felt like one. I liked that feeling.
Almost 12 years ago, I had my first baby. From then on, exercising alone felt like a self-indulgence. I spent all my time either working or doing things with the kids. I felt, if I was going to exercise, I should do it with them. I felt I should be playing tag in the park, not going to a gym and making it all about me.
Then my kids got older and I realised we weren’t playing much tag anymore. I was just sitting and watching them trying to kick a football.
I didn’t think I’d be capable of running anymore. I knew I felt puffed out when I rushed to the school gates to pick up the kids when I was running late (most days). But when a friend said she ran 5km with a free group called Parkrun every Saturday morning, I found myself saying I’d be there the following weekend.
To me, 5km was a magic distance. It was my old self, my pre-baby self, my fit self. I wanted to be able to run 5km again, but I didn’t really think I could.
Being massively disorganised, I only realised late on Friday that at some point I’d thrown out all my exercise gear. I turned up for the run on Saturday morning in my work pants, a woolly jacket and a pair of sparkly sneakers I’d bought from Kmart at 10.30pm the previous night.
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I had PND after my youngest was born and during a counseling session I was told I had to do something just for me everyday, even if it was only 5 or 10 minutes it was my time and I wasn’t to be interrupted by children or anyone else. It’s much easier now my boys are teens/preteens, but I still try to have 10 minutes of uninterrupted time at the end of each day.
I love this. I ran my first half marathon just before getting pregnant with our first. I was one of the slowest in the race but I still ran the whole 21km. Now four years and two babies later I've done not much for myself except let my fitness slide amongst the new crazy family life. Thanks for the inspiration... I'll be booking in some 'me' time with hubby and try running around the block.