ASK CHANTELLE: "My partner wants me to squirt during sex. How do I do that?"

Mamamia's Ask Chantelle series is a pervy Q&A session with Psycho-Sexologist Chantelle Otten. Think about all the sex questions you've wanted answers for, but have been too shy to ask. Nothing is too embarrassing, kinky or wild for Chantelle. Honestly, we've all probably wondered the same thing too. This week, one woman wants to know everything there is to know about squirting. And, if you have a sex question you want answered, email submissions@mamamia.com.au with Ask Chantelle in the subject line.

"My partner wants me to squirt during sex. How do I do that?"

Squirting!

Ok, so this is a hot topic. Not everyone can squirt, so don't beat yourself up if it's difficult. But, it's always good to give it a few tries and to enjoy the process. A lot of women love squirting and would like to know how to perform this more on command. If done right, the bedsheets will be wet and you’ll both be smiling. Here are instructions for your partner:

Watch: Five interesting ways women can reach orgasm. Post continues below.

Tip 1: Prepare the room. Get rid of distractions, make sure you have privacy, some gentle lighting, and a soft and sensual playlist (try Majid Jordan or Loyle Carner). Sex is about the journey, not the destination.

Tip 2: Ask your lady to lie on her back and have her knees bent, letting her legs hang to the side in a frog-like position. This will relax the muscles in the thighs. You could stick with this position, or have a pillow resting just under her buttocks. This will tilt her pelvis slightly, making it possible for both vaginal and clitoral stimulation during foreplay and intercourse.

Tip 3: Have fun with foreplay. Foreplay is important in any sexual interaction - aim for pleasure and stimulation. There is no need to rush, focus on giving her all the pleasure. Preparing her both mentally and physically for the experience is absolutely essential if you want her to climax, and especially if you want to make her squirt.

Tip 4: Invest in high-quality lube. Silicone lubricant is best for this act. 

You can apply it liberally to the clitoris, inside her vagina and to your fingers and palms. Play with her clitoris, to arouse her vagina. 

You can then slowly insert your middle finger into her vagina, with your palm facing up towards the roof, resting it on her clitoris. 

You will most likely need to be kneeling next to her on the bed to be in the right position. Curl your fingertip and perform a “come hither” motion with your finger on the frontal wall of her vagina. 

You should be able to feel her ‘g-spot’ which is a rougher, fleshier part of the vagina that feels spongy. It is about 2-3 cm into the roof of the vagina. As you stroke this area, you should soon be able to insert another finger. You will know that she is getting excited as her vaginal wall will swell, you can try out a few different stimulation techniques to see what works best for her. 

Maybe moving your hand up and down, up and down whilst keeping your fingers curled is the best way to go. Keep in mind, your partner may say she has an urge to urinate. This is totally normal, and you should assure her that she need not worry. Make her feel completely comfortable and provide her with reassurance.

Keep moving your hand up and down while continuing to keep your finger curled and stroking the g-spot. It can be tricky but eventually, you will get the technique just right and your arms will be getting a workout. 

Speed up the movements with time. Don’t go too hard or fast that you lose control, but keep pace allowing you to continue in a rhythmic motion.

As she comes closer to climax, you will start hearing squelching sounds and notice that your fingers are getting wetter. Your partner will be breathing faster and squirming. 

Keep up the pressure and the speed and soon she will be ejaculating, which will come out of her vagina onto the bed. Keep your palm on her clitoris to maximise pleasure and clitoral sensation. And most of all… enjoy yourselves!! It is about the experience, not the goal.

Read more Ask Chantelle:

• ASK CHANTELLE: My partner wants to try a golden shower. What do I need to know?
• ASK CHANTELLE: I'm a straight woman and my boyfriend wants to try male anal play. Help!
• ASK CHANTELLE: My boyfriend really wants to have anal...Is it messy? Does everyone do it?
• ASK CHANTELLE: My medication has destroyed my sex drive. Is there any way to get it back?
• ASK CHANTELLE: My partner keeps talking about 'eating ass'. What do I need to know?
• ASK CHANTELLE: My boyfriend really wants me to 'peg' him. What do I do?

Chantelle Otten is Australia’s leading Psycho-Sexologist who is passionate about empowering people to feel great about their sexual health, self-esteem, communication and education. With a background in scientific research, sexual medicine, and counselling, she believes that sexuality and self-esteem are an integral part of life, which everyone is entitled to. Good sexual health should always be enjoyable, pain free and without prejudice.

Chantelle is the director of the Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine, where she and her team of sexologists work to positively change the sexual lives of the Australian’s, also using her social media to spread sexual empowerment to all. You can find her on Instagram here.

Feature Image: Supplied.