From an absent friend, to a complex mother-daughter situation: How to repair any relationship.

Relationships are hard, no matter what form they come in — whether it's a boss that's grinding your gears, a familial breakdown, or perhaps a long-term relationship that's wavering.

Fortunately though, there is often a way to repair these connections (if you wish to), and it can leave the relationship stronger than before.

So without further ado, here's the golden advice from our golden experts.

A marriage on the rocks.

Isiah McKimmie is a relationship counsellor, sex therapist and sexologist.

She has helped countless couples get back on track with their relationships. Interestingly, she says that not all romantic relationships dissolve because of one big fight or a drama — often it's the festering of little irritations and stagnant communication.

"This is the biggest reason people come to us for help — it's those who are married or in long-term relationships where they're in a rut," she notes.

"By the point the couple notices things aren't good, they're often already really disconnected and those small arguments are adding up all of a sudden. And they usually haven't had sex in months either."

Watch: Glennon Doyle on marriage, untaming and finding her voice. Post continues below.

There's a way to know if the drift has become an unmoveable chasm though.

Some of the questions to ask yourself, says McKimmie, are:

• Are you still excited to see your partner at the end of the day? 
• Do you feel like they're excited to see you as well? 
• Do you feel respected by your partner? 
• Do you feel that you can go to them with challenges that you're having, but also your celebrations?
• Lastly, are sex and affection in the relationship regular and consistent?

The answer to dealing with a drifting relationship is communication.

"It might sound really obvious, but actually talking about it with your partner is so important. Often people assume their partner's feelings, but that can be dangerous and presumptuous — whereas having the conversation can then lead to you both setting goals [and] a course of action moving forward," McKimmie tells Mamamia.

"Also, embracing touch more often helps to rekindle a spark. It's like keeping your car running or keeping the garden healthy and lush — it requires small amounts of work every day. It's about an even and equal 20-minute debrief about one another's days, going on regular date nights and finding joy in the small moments."

A challenging boss.

Amanda Gordon is job site Indeed's workplace psychologist, and she has more than 25 years of experience in her field.

First and foremost, she wants people to know there's a difference between an annoying boss and a truly 'toxic' boss.

"An irritating manager is often one who is not good at communicating their goals, needs and expectations. The employee can be left feeling like they're never good enough, and that becomes a vicious cycle of feeling unsupported," she tells Mamamia.

"Sometimes a challenging boss can be very good for us in our own personal development — we shouldn't run away from having a boss who will challenge us in some ways. Toxic is when a boss actually undermines what you do. They ask for one thing but then expect something different, they never acknowledge their employee's good work, they take credit for their employee's work, there's no recognition or appreciation."

How to get on better footing with your manager:

• Set up weekly or fortnightly one-on-one meetings with your manager. If your manager hasn't organised this or something similar yet, ask them to do so. This makes sure everyone knows what is expected, if the employee is on the right track and if they feel supported to do the work.
• Communicate, communicate, communicate. 
• Assert yourself and ask for what you need. 
• Prioritise your own mental health and focus on work-life balance.

"Employees have some control, not complete control. They can walk away if it's not what they need or want. If your boss can't give you recognition and support in any way, then you don't have to stay there. There is a job market that is open and people can move around if they want to. They're not stuck in the one spot. So never feel like, 'this is my life,'" says Gordon.

An absent friend.

Nahum Kozak is the co-founder of Lighthouse Relationships and is a senior psychologist. For 15 years now, Kozak has been helping hundreds of people get on track with their relationships, whether they're platonic, familial or romantic.

"There can be a range of reasons that friendships end. One of these is simply people growing apart over time — no longer having shared interests, or moving on to another phase of life," Kozak notes.

In this instance, where you feel your friend has become quite absent, the first thing to do is to check your assumptions. There are three common ones, says Kozak.

Assumption 1: "I want this friendship." 

"I'd be asking, 'Do you want this friendship?' People sometimes give a knee-jerk reaction of, "Of course I want it!" But do you? Really? I ask people to reflect – do you feel drawn to reach out to this person, or have you been finding excuses to procrastinate? Do you leave their company feeling drained? Ideally a friendship helps bring both people a little bit more to life," he explains.

Assumption 2: "Change in friendship means the end of friendship."

"Another thing I'd check in about is whether they know that friendships can have natural ebbs and flows. There can be busy life times and less busy times. For example, if someone has a baby, they are going to have a lot more to juggle! Be aware that life happens for all of us."

If concerned, one solution is to reach out and have the conversation.

Kozak notes it's best not to start with "You never call me", but more along the lines of, "I miss you — how would you like to catch up?" 

If they say no, or evade, then you can gently ask how they are tracking and whether something has changed for them. You might find that you have a good conversation, or that you have a little more clarity around there not being much more to the friendship at this stage.

Assumption 3: "They don't call so that's the end."

"On the same note, don't assume they do not want contact. It may be the case that they have been doing the lion's share of reaching out and keeping your friendship going in the past, but that they can't do that anymore. Take the risk of being proactive and get in contact," he tells Mamamia.

"We often get into the most difficulty when we start trying to mind-read into the other person's intentions. If the worst-case scenario is true, and they no longer want to have a friendship at all, it is okay to be sad, but also be aware there's growth to be had from this experience that may actually leave you both better off."

A complex mother-daughter relationship.

Donna Cameron is a registered psychologist with 20 years of experience working with adults, children, families and couples in private practice. When it comes to complex mother-daughter relationships, Cameron is well across this subject — she's often called upon as a mediator.

"I have found over the years that it does not always have to be the mother who requests this; if the daughter is now an adult and has her own family and children, she is often the one reaching out for my assistance in rebuilding this relationship," she notes.

The pattern typically among Cameron's clients is that if the daughter is young in age, it's the mother seeking a repair in the relationship, whereas if the daughter is in her late 20s or older, the daughter is often the one asking for the sessions.

The most common reasons for general conflict:

• Unrealistic expectations, and the aim to be the Gilmore Girls! "As much as that show was very entertaining, it was not an excellent example of a healthy mother-daughter relationship. Yet, so many of my clients refer to this show as an example of what they want in their own relationship with their mother."
• Daughters forget that mothers are human too; daughters will often place expectations on their parents, forgetting that their mother has a life to live as well. Mothers will often find it difficult to say no to their daughters, meaning that their own needs can be neglected. For example, mothers can be called on for a lot more grand-parenting these days than the odd babysitting day. Many parents have stopped travelling, playing sports and going out with their friends because they need to care for their grandchildren. This is not good for the mental health of the (grand)mother and can eventually cause conflict.
• Interference in the adult child's life, with their mother not respecting their wishes about how they want to run their own life.
• Pressure of the child to be the support person for the mother from a young age. This occurs a lot when the mother has been through a separation and has not sought the appropriate assistance for their mental health during this time. The mother can attach to the daughter in a need for the daughter to be her support, and in return, the dynamics of the relationship shift from the healthy parent-child structure to the child now parenting the parent.

"Remember that you have your patterns and ways of communicating in this relationship and that these can be ingrained and difficult to alter. It is essential to know how to listen to each other, [and] not make any assumptions to what you are hearing — seek clarifications to any questions you have, validate the other person's feelings and then consider ways that you can both act differently in the future," says Cameron. 

"Remember the hierarchy. The mother will always be the mother — that is her role in this relationship. The mother may need to learn some skills on how this role changes as her daughter grows, and the daughter may need to learn how to let her mother be the mother and not take over this role. Age does not mean we retire from our roles as mothers or daughters."

It's important to note, of course, that there are some circumstances in which the relationship isn't worth resolving — if it's super toxic or abusive for example.

In these cases, Cameron says, she shifts her focus to the person who has been abused, teaching them strategies for setting boundaries for this relationship, reaching acceptance, and understanding the grief and loss process.

Feature Image: Getty.