Jessica was relentlessly bullied at work for 3 years. It landed her in hospital.

Arriving in Australia in 2013, I was fortunate enough to find work in the construction industry. I had worked in the industry for many years back in the UK, so I was used to working in a male-dominated environment, and I felt very confident and excited to start my life in Australia.

The role was an HR position on a large oil and gas project in Darwin in the Northern Territory. Once I started working there, I heard from the staff about how bad mental health and suicide was in the industry, in particular for fly-in-fly-out workers. This ignited a passion within me to develop and lead culture programs that bridged the gap between industry workers and mental health services, and ultimately to build a speak-up culture within the workplace.

Watch: The other signs of workplace bullying beyond its definition. Story continues after video.

I was recognised for my success in the role and was nominated for Northern Territory Young Achiever of the Year and named an Outstanding Woman in Resources. However, behind the scenes I was being relentlessly bullied and harassed by my new HR manager.

My manager started six months into my time there and quickly proved himself to be a serial bully, which was really damaging considering I had just spent the past six months trying to build a nurturing and supportive environment. The bullying began early on, and unfortunately, the more successful I became, the more disgruntled my bully became.

I suffered his bullying and harassment for three and a half years. It started with subtle job threats, unrealistic workloads, calls late at night, and intimidating and inappropriate questions. He even threatened me about my visa. It worsened over time, escalating into a more physical, violent form where he would berate me and shout in my face, and he even once threw a folder at me. He would constantly try to physically intimidate me, undermine my efforts and break down my confidence. My physical, emotional and psychological health continued to get worse and worse, until I found myself so emotionally drained that I ended up collapsing at work and being rushed to hospital.

It was when I was lying in that hospital bed that I realised how systemic and dangerous bullying is in organisations, and how the bystander culture of not dealing with the bullying can affect people so severely. I reported the bullying 32 times, and yet the bully remains with the organisation many years after my collapse. 

It was that complete feeling of loneliness and helplessness that ultimately led me on my mission to develop Bullyology and raise awareness of the insidious bullying and harassment that is perpetrated in Australian workplaces.

I have written two books, provided education, consulted and coached in workplaces, and helped countless organisations and industries navigate the uncharted waters of bullying, harassment and toxic workplace cultures. I have created a movement to help people move from bystander to upstander and educate people around the topic, but also to build capabilities through my Upstander movement on how people can be change-makers.

Looking back, I still remember the sadness I felt most days at the peak of my bullying, but I also remember the sense of purpose, resilience and determination I felt to not let it break me. I knew deep down this experience would shape me (even though that thought felt like madness at the time). Often, when we are ‘in the weeds’ of an experience, it can feel so unrealistic to see a way out. But there is always light at the end of every tunnel if you keep digging – one day at a time!

If you are experiencing bullying, or if you are witnessing bullying but don’t know what to do, it’s important to take steps to support yourself and others.

In my Bullyology program, I talk about the five steps to surviving bullying experiences:

1. Observe.

Try to observe the bullying situation from an unemotional, third-party perspective so you can achieve more clarity about the motivations and behaviours.

2. Document.

Whenever bullying occurs, always calmly, factually and precisely record dates, times, lead-up circumstances, witnesses, and specific bully actions. This can help you when reporting the bullying (when you are ready).

3. Protect.

Try to protect yourself. Avoid private interactions with the bully wherever possible, speak up for yourself, know your legal rights, and gather your colleagues together to approach management or support staff about the perpetrator’s unacceptable behaviour.

The Quicky speaks to an industrial relations expert on what we can all do to bring an end to workplace bullying. Story continues after podcast.

4. Research.

Self-educate about the causes and effects of bullying (especially the serious health consequences of victimisation) and learn about the best places to get help, such as employee assistance programs (EAPs), crisis helplines, and health and safety agencies (such as Safe Work Australia).

5. Be an upstander.

Learn how to become an upstander in bullying situations, and why upstanders are by far the most effective weapon in the fight against chronic bullying. Through adversity we can find our greatest power.

To learn more about upstanders and how to combat workplace bullying, check out my new book The Upstander Leader: How to develop a speak-up culture.

For resources and fact sheets on bullying, visit www.bullyology.com.

Feature Image: Supplied.