Attention couples everywhere: It's officially time to give up on the 'wegasm'.

One of the most fascinating parts of my job as a sex researcher is observing what facts about sex men and woman are willing to believe – and which they aren’t. The most obvious example is the that only 25 percent of women consistently orgasm during intercourse.

This is something that’s backed up by research over and over again but both men and women refuse to believe it. Neither of us want to give up on the idea that the ‘traditional’ way of climaxing actually doesn’t work (and men, in particular, don’t want to believe their penis isn’t all she needs).

The other sex fact both sexes aren’t willing to believe is that most couples don’t have simultaneous orgasms. People on the telly and in movies come together more often than they have breakfast but it’s a little different in the real world.

Here’s why.

Roughly 75% of men in relationships always have an orgasm with their partner, compared to only 30 percent of women. Men’s orgasms last anywhere between five and 13 seconds, women’s last around 12 to 30 seconds.

Do the maths and you’ll quickly see that no sane bookie would ever back the odds of both of you orbiting into orgasmic ecstasy at exactly the same moment.

Related Content: Three modern sex myths you shouldn't believe in.

It isn’t just unlikely, it’s ridiculously unlikely!

Yet in bedrooms all around the world, at precisely 10.37pm on a Saturday night (when couples are most likely to have sex, apparently), there you both are trying to achieve the virtually impossible.

Isn’t it more logical and less stressful to instead take turns to climax? It’s not only easier to orgasm one at a time, it means we can focus intently on making sure it’s the best it can be for our partner (rather than losing ourselves in our own yummy and inherently selfish orgasmic sensations).

I vote we all give up on the ‘wegasm’ and think of it as a happy coincidence rather than likely finish.

Instead, simply aim for stronger, more intense orgasms for both of you, hopefully in the same session.

Here’s some practical hints on how to achieve them:

Give her a head start. Women take longer than men to build up to the pre-orgasmic phase, so she gets double the helping of foreplay before you move into the really intense bits.

But men like foreplay too. True, some men aren’t interested in foreplay and want to sprint to the finish line but  they’re the ones missing out.  A recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research found both sexes have the most satisfying climaxes when desire builds slowly and orgasm is close but delayed multiple times before finishing.

Reposition yourself if it’s not working for you. Move hands, tongues or toys to where it feels best rather than wait for a  partner to mind-read and hit the spot.

Use a vibrator. The quickest way to up the number of orgasms a woman has in bed is to bring the vibrator to bed with you both. Research from Indiana University found 70 percent of men aren’t intimated by vibrators - perhaps because women who use them regularly report higher levels of arousal, lubrication, orgasm and satisfaction.

Say something. Describe your fantasies to your partner during sex, talk about how you feel while they’re doing what they’re doing. Dirty talk doesn’t have to involve dirty words but saying anything sexy out loud nearly always intensifies the mood.

Don’t drink. Alcohol removes inhibitions but numbs the nerve endings, making it far more difficult to orgasm.

Watch something. Prop up your laptop on the bed and take turns watching something sexy, like a steamy part of your favourite film, while the other does all the work.

Don’t stress if you can’t climax. Dozens of factors affect our ability to orgasm: stress, tiredness, pregnancy, where you’re at in the menstrual cycle, medication, alcohol, menopause. We’re human, not robots so orgasm sometimes just doesn’t happen.

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