Seven years ago, my best friend went missing.
I’d known Nat* since the day she was born. We’d played elastics and ridden bikes together as children and confessed our secret crushes to each other as teens. As adults, we’d seen each other through weddings, births, deaths and divorce. After almost 40 years of friendship, we still lived in the same town and we spoke to each other almost every day.
Then, she disappeared.
Nat’s daughter, who I loved like one of my own, would be 18 now. I sometimes wonder if I’d recognise her if I passed her on the street. Her son will never know me. My youngest son, Nat’s godchild, can’t remember her at all.
He was eight years old when Nat went missing. Perhaps the saddest part about the whole thing is that Nat didn’t actually go missing. She disappeared from my life, but she’s very much alive and well. Last I heard, she was living happily in the suburbs with her husband and two children.
Are you someone’s obligatory friend? Post continues.
It took about a month for me to realise there was a serious issue in our relationship. At the time, I was busy packing up our house, winding up my small business and organising for my kids to change schools. I hadn’t seen Nat for a few weeks but we’d been in contact via text. She’d been slower than usual to respond to messages, but hey, life was busy. It was nearly Christmas, and Nat had a full-time job, a baby, and a daughter who was finishing primary school. Even when the texts stopped altogether, I wasn’t really worried. There was no problem between us, no argument to be concerned about. It wasn’t until Nat refused to commit to a time for farewell drinks that I realised something was up. I tried calling, but she didn’t answer. I dropped by her house, but she refused to come to the door, even though I knew she was home.
The day before we moved, I texted one last time asking if everything was okay and received a five-word reply, Good luck with the move. We haven’t spoken since.
The end of our friendship left me shocked and bewildered. I didn’t know what I’d done (and I still don’t). Had I inadvertently said something hurtful? Forgotten a birthday or an anniversary? There was nothing obvious I could think of and Nat had made it clear she wasn’t interested in talking about the problem. The friendship was over – I had no choice but to accept that fact.
Top Comments
I feel like I have been dumped by a very close friend, and it hurts like hell to be honest! They have gone through a big life change around a year ago and I keep telling myself that they have other things to concentrate on etc, and that things will change when their life settles down, but I have no clue.
All of the things that I imagine might be going on at their end (we are separated geographically and have been for many years) I am only imagining in my head because the truth is that I really have no idea as they aren't really saying anything. I don't know whether to be concerned about them, or really offended at the treatment.
It is hard to imagine that such a close long term friendship could just disappear like a puff of smoke, but that is what seems to have happened. My husband says half jokingly they have joined a cult - that's kind of what it feels like must have happened at this end! I have no idea what to do other than to keep trying at my end, as I definitely don't want to give up on this person if the truth is that a friend who keeps trying is exactly what they need. Again though - I have no idea!
So the writer's story hit home here !
something like this has happened to me ,, only difference is I have found out things about this so called friend that have rocked me to my core, she actually stopped talking to me when i finally got the courage to tell her off when she was trying her best to turn the conversation over to herself as she always did , but this time I was really upset an needed a sympathetic ear when i finally stood up for myself she never spoke to me again an we had been friends since we were 11 after that i found out all the nasty things she had been doing to me behind my back an more,, I was heart broken because i trusted her like I would a sister for the next few mths i kept remembering incidents an the truth behind them :(