Drivers share their most successful strategies for getting out of a fine.

I didn’t come here specifically to brag, but I’ve never actually been pulled over by a cop.

It could have something to do with the fact that I’ve only had my license for a really short period of time, or that I tend to drive slower than my grandma, but I’d prefer to argue it’s because I was naturally gifted with above average driving skills. (I was not.)

Regardless, it must be said that there’s a certain skill one must have to talk themselves out of fine. Do you go really aggressive and scare them off? Do you play the I’m-way-too-nice-and-you-can’t-fine-someone-as-nice-as-me card? Or do you make a joke about it and hope they appreciate your humour enough to spare you the $200 ticket?

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Thankfully, Redditors have come together, both cops and criminals alike, to share the most creative ways others have tried to talk themselves out of fines. Although a common thread from every answer is a sense of inventiveness, not all appeared to be completely effective.

The language barrier card.

“I have a friend who once moved to Australia from Norway and was genuinely blown away by the amount of rules we have here. Want to drive 15 kms over the speed limit on a freeway? Norway doesn’t mind, because after all the speed limits are only suggestions. Naturally, you can understand that every time she was pulled over without a helmet riding her bike, she spoke Norwegian to the point of exhaustion, promised to learn the law in her not-so-broken English and rode away fine-free.”

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If a second language isn’t your thing, another option, according to one Redditor, is sign language.

“Not a cop, but I’ve seen many of my ex’s ways on avoiding tickets and she has avoided many tickets. Her best escape was by faking being mute and fortunately, she knows sign language. Most cops would feel bad ticketing her so they just let her go, while I feel bad for those cops,” the user wrote.

Being in labour.

I understand this isn’t for everyone because you’ll need to be both a) and female and b) pregnant and c) actually in labour, but perhaps unsurprisingly it’s not a difficult way to talk your way out of a fine.

“When my mum was in labour with my sister my dad got pulled over for going way the hell over the limit on a town road,” one Redditor wrote.

“The officer was apparently not realising how important it was that they get to a hospital, so my dad told him ‘either you get back into your car and leave or you help give birth to this child.’ The officer apparently didn’t even say another word. He just threw his hands up and left.”

Abusing the cop.

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Before I start this one, the one overwhelming response with this one is that it doesn’t quite work so well. And telling the cop that they should be catching “real” criminals is a one way ticket to getting a ticket.

“One lady yelled and cursed at me while saying I was wasting my time dealing with her when I should be getting the REAL bad and dangerous drivers out there,” one cop wrote. “She was stopped for going 17mph over in an active school zone.”

Not being an idiot.

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I know. Surprise! Being nice sometimes works. One Redditor writes that he has been pulled over numerous times and not once been fined.

“Not a cop, but I’ve been pulled over 5+ times and have never had a ticket. I also have several family friends who are officers,” they wrote.

“Two best pieces of advice I have is be as perfectly respectful and polite as you can (“please/thank you”, yes sir/ma’am no sir/ma’am”). And, if it is night time, turn on all your interior lights before the officer even gets to your window (it is a lot less scary approaching a car that you can see inside of.)”

Disclaimer, however: a co-worker of mine believes she was so nice to a cop who pulled her over that they were so suspicious they drug-searched her car. So, you know, be nice. But not too nice.

Cracking jokes.

Humour, it seems, could be your best bet.

One Redditor wrote: “A co-worker of mine was speeding one day on a south bound highway. Told the cop, ‘Hey man, I know you got to give me a ticket, but please write out for north bound, or else my wife will think I’m cheating on her.’ The cop laughed and told him to slow down and let him off.

Tears.

If all else fails, just cry. See where it gets you.