Real Christmas trees are the bomb. Their piney smell permeates every corner of the entire house, and should you brush against them, you are destined to become insatiably itchy.
Their artificial brethren are no match.
Until it hits January 2nd.
LISTEN: New year, same show. Mia Freedman, Holly Wainwright and Jessie Stephens come up with their ‘word’ for 2018… because resolutions are boring. Post continues after audio.
The branches are limp. Baubles and tinsel droop towards the floor. The life-green thistles are turning baby-diarrhoea brown. And the smell of Christmas is suddenly about as endearing as the thought of consuming another slice of cold ham. #nothanks.
No doubt at this point, you violently shake the decorations off the tree, toss it out a window onto the curb, and make it the problem of the universe.
Not anymore, though.
Councils are well and truly sick of the annual tree clean-up, and are advising that there is a correct way to dispose of our real Christmas trees.
The answer? The magical green bin.
Councils advise the best way to dispose of your real Christmas tree is to treat it as you would garden mulch, or grass trimmings: chop the trunk into manageable pieces (chainsaw, axe, butter knife… whatever your weapon of choice), and stuff it into the green bin. Put the bin out on the curb and… TA DA. Collected. Your friendly neighbourhood garbos will help the tree into a truck, and convert it into re-usable mulch.
Not everyone has the ability to lumberjack their tree into manageable parts, and lop it into a bin, though. And that’s fine. Because there’s an alternative…
Through your council’s website, you can book a Christmas tree collection.
The City of Sydney council website reads:
If you can’t break up your tree to fit in your bins then book it in for a collection and the City will come and take it away for free.
The same goes for major cities around Australia.
Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore said the following of the process: “We recycle trees into mulch, which is then used to protect and nurture soil. It’s a gift that keeps on giving, because you’re also rescuing your tree from ending up in landfill and releasing methane that can contribute to climate change.”
As long as you can get the ol’ girl onto the curb, you’re all set. Tell council it’s there, book a date for it to be removed, and WHAM… just like that, Christmas tree gone. Environment saved. Order restored.