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Things you should never say to your partner, according to experts.

 

 

We’ve heard it a thousand times before – when it comes to relationships, communication is the key.

But learning how to communicate properly with your partner can be one of the hardest – and most frustrating – part of being in a relationship.

I mean, who hasn’t gotten into a fight over a simple misunderstanding before?

how to communicate with your partner
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Luckily, though, relationship coach and psychologist Sam Owen recently shared some communication advice with The Independent.

Here are her top five tips:

1. Don't repeat things you don’t want to come true.

"Words are instructions to the brain, they focus our thoughts, decisions and actions accordingly," said Owen.

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So instead of accusing your partner of being hung up on an ex, focus on your own relationship.

2. Don't issue ultimatums.

Saying things like "It's your mum or me" is never a good idea, because they are usually a result of anxiety or a lack of trust.

Ultimatums do not resolve these underlying issues.

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3. Don't say his family isn't important.

This is a no-brainer, but whether you like it or not, your in-laws are a part of your life.

4. Don't use universal statements.

"Avoid universal statements such as 'You always...' or 'You only...', because such statements are rarely true and just inflame a situation," said Owen.

Instead, use more realistic phrases like “often” or “more often than not”.

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5. Use questions instead of statements.

According to Owen, statements sound as though you’ve already made your mind up.

As an alternative, ask questions or describe how you are experiencing something. Instead of saying "You spend too much time at work", say "I feel like you're spending a lot of time at work lately, how can we spend some more time together?"

According to Owen, making these simple changes in the way you speak with your partner will do wonders for your relationship.

are you really in love
Image via iStock.

Makes sense to us...

What's your top communication tip?