This week a simple silver bracelet soothed my soul. Let me explain.
When I brought my third baby home from the hospital, I expected to feel many things over that first year. Overwhelmed. Over tired. Over wrought. As well as exhilarated, content and deliriously happy.
All that I expected.
But you know what I didn’t expect? You know what I didn’t see coming?
Envy.
Tell me, where in all those bloody baby books is the chapter on the wild-eyed jealousy you’ll feel towards anyone who has the ability to leave the house at random? Where’s that chapter?
Or maybe it’s just me.
I’ve shuffled through the past nine months, chronically sleep-deprived in baby spew-laden pyjama tops acting as a personal assistant to three children under six and if I’m going to be honest, I’ve had unexpected pangs of industrial strength envy towards my beautiful, talented friends.
The friend who is currently on a major work trip to NEW YORK.
The friend who is planning a family holiday to Europe.
The friend who just signed a major book deal.
The friend who goes to movies and cocktail parties and weekends away on a whim.
The friend who’s been (deservedly) rewarded with a huge promotion.
The friend who took my place on a fabulous Mamamia assignment because I, you know, had a fourteen-week-old croupy newborn at home.
Top Comments
As the father of three grown up daughters and one son with kids...sometimes I look after them...I am proud of them and of you...for your sincere confession...How come it took so long? and for the personal growth.. at cost..that all this takes...and for giving the world kids who are loved by their parents...especially their Mum. Here is a poem from Michael Leunig which is a sincere prayer for you. God be with the Mother. As she carried her child, may she carry her soul. As her child was born, may she give birth and life and form to her own higher truth. As she nourished and protected her child, may she nourish and protect her inner life and her independence. For her soul shall be her most painful birth, her most difficult child and the dearest sister to her other children.
Peace as you seek to care for your own soul. Geoffrey Butler
I do love my crazy busy life with my two little ones, but seriously sometimes it does feel like it revolves around meals, dishes, washing and trying to get squirmy ones ready to leave the house. Not to mentioning negotiating with a toddler..... I find it hardest when others (non parents) ask me what I have been up to....I feel like I am always busy with lots to do....but never anything exciting to tell people. My answer genre rally consists of going to,park, playgroup, library, pool.......and then they have all these exciting stories to tell about their life.