This year, I’m judging my sister for how much money she’s spending on Christmas presents for my nieces. I’m judging her hard.
I know what you’re thinking, as an aunty, it’s not my place. It’s none of my business. My opinion doesn’t dictate what’s right and wrong, or how much is a ‘reasonable’ amount of cash to be poured into ‘making the day special’.
But let me set you the scene of Christmas last year. One of my nieces, the younger of the two, had a complete and utter meltdown on Christmas Day because we ran out of presents for her to open. My observation was she didn’t so much care about what she was getting, as the act of unwrapping the gift itself.
Once she opened something, she looked at it for a second, tossed it into the pile of other presents, and then continued on in search for something else to open. To the point where she started opening other people’s gifts just to get the buzz and excitement from opening. She copped a royal telling off and spent the entire afternoon in tears.
I don’t blame my niece for behaving this way because at the end of the day, it’s my sister who has spoiled her well and truly to the edge of no return. And this year it’s no different. She’s buying them a jungle gym to go in the backyard, which cost about $600. She’s then gone out and purchased every other item on their shopping lists, no matter how big or small, as well as issued a list of what all close family and friends should buy for them.
I just worry that they no longer have any appreciation for what they receive because they've never gone without. As a child, I received maybe one or two gifts on my Christmas list and that was a HUGE deal. It made me truly value and cherish what I was given. It made the day more special because if I got what I was asked for I had well and truly earned it.
I'm not saying that my nieces shouldn't receive gifts at all but I just wish more selective thought went into it instead of buying them every single gift under that sun and for it to become an expectation that this is just the way it goes. I shudder to think what they'll be like when they become teens and just expect to be handed everything, from mobile phones to shiny cars...
I love my nieces to bits but I just feel spending thousands and thousands of dollars on them at Christmas is doing them absolutely no favours.
Again, I know it's not my place to judge or even say anything but it's just gotten way out of control. I can see a meltdown 2.0 happening this year when there are no more gifts to unwrap and Christmas should be about the joy of family, not how many pieces of plastic you can accumulate.
Am I overreacting or is my sister entitled to spoiling her daughters at Christmas?
LISTEN: Speaking of spending ridiculous amounts of money at Christmas time... This Glorious Mess has some expert tips for thrifty Christmas shopping below...
Top Comments
Ok, I really don't like the assertion that giving a child a lot of stuff 'ruins' them.
I was very spoilt when I was a child. You know why? My parents worked incredibly long hours and struggled for family time, so they made up for it in gifts. Not healthy, but that is what they did. Everybody told me as a child that I would be ruined because I was so spoilt, so much so that I was diagnosed with depression as a teen because I thought my extended family hated me because I was spoilt as a child! I have spent a long time trying to prove to people that I am not a spoilt brat.
Did it ruin me? Absolutely not - ever since I was a child I wanted to help people and give back to the community. I spent my time at uni volunteering, and now I work for a leading non-profit that helps the community. Helping others is my life. I work hard for what I own, I budget and save and never expect things to just land in my lap. And the best bit is now that I am earning good money I can afford to spoil my parents, like they did for me.
Please, let us stop saying that kids will be destroyed because of what they are given - it can be really damaging fot people to grow up thinking that they are destined to be brats. It has taken me years to realise that I am a good person due to this.
What would you have preferred out of curiosity? Family time or gifts?
My sister does this too and it’s because she compensates because her and my brother in law work all day every day and hardly see the kids so she compensates with gifts. My husband and I are high income earners but we buy our children one small gift (less than $40 each) and we bank money for them instead. My 3 year old already has about 12K in her account just because we never buy them a lot of gifts just one and bank the rest of the money. We also don’t do kids parties, instead we take them somewhere on a trip for their birthday, usually overseas or locally and try to experience new things. Toys are a huge waste of money.