The five step process to winning sweet sweet cash on a TV game show.

Have you ever sat watching Millionaire Hot Seat and thought, heck, I could do that?

Get frustrated when the contestants bugger it up? Answer it wrong? Choose B when it is CLEARLY D?

You should try out.

Mamamia’s very own Sarah Jane Collins (SJ) did just that..and she is here to tell you how to get on the show too.

So get comfy. Get used to the idea of your arse in a hot seat. Because here’s your guide to game show glory.

Hear SJ talk to Rosie Waterland and Laura Brodnik on this week’s episode of The Binge. (Post continues after audio.)

STEP ONE:  HAVE A DREAM.

You need a dream. Something to make your HUNGRY for the cash. SJ had dreams of winning enough sweet sweet cashola to fund some study in NYC. THAT, people, is called a backstory.  That is v. important for producers. Remember this for later, we’ll need to revisit it.

THE ACTUAL STEP ONE: APPLY.

First, you first have to fill out forms online, and then do a quiz. Simple. Free. Do it now. Then be prepared to wait.

“I did that (quiz) and I totally forgot about it, for a really long time. And then I got an email from them saying ‘you have been invited to an audition day in Sydney…you have to audition’.” SJ explains.

STEP TWO: AUDITION.

Because, yes. There are auditions. And those auditions are phased.

The first round of the audition is a written, multiple choice quiz WITH A TWIST: you can only go through to the next round if you get a certain score. So BRUSH up on your pub trivia. Dust off Trivial Pursuit. Only the fittest minds can survive questions like: What is not an ingredient in pancakes?

And if you don’t like crowds, take some deep breaths, because you’re not going to be the only special snowflake at the auditions.

“A lot of people apply to be on Millionaire. A lot of people have dreams of winning a million dollars….in fact at my audition day, I sat next to this guy, who had applied and sat the test three times before.” SJ says.

Then you move onto the personal side round. You know, the part where you have to tell them your back story, like what you would do if you actually won a million smackeroos.

Think emotional thoughts. How many bazillion charities do you volunteer for in between your time working for an NGO?  How you are still trying to fill that emotional void created when your puppy was run over when you were a small child? Why do you need this money? How despo are you?

And then, deep breath, you move onto the one minute to camera test.

STEP THREE: SHIT GETS REAL 

That's right. Now you gotta tell that backstory in 60 seconds.

Because, as SJ explains, you can "have the saddest back story in the world, but if you freeze when a TV camera is looking at you, then there is no way they're gonna put you on Millionaire."

Anyway they liked SJ. She was 60 seconds of desperate. She got through...through to the day of reckoning when she flew to Melbourne for Millionaire madness.

STEP FOUR: CALL YOUR MUM ON THE BIG DAY

As for the big day? It seemed a blur. But she does have one hot tip: if in doubt, call your Mum.

"I was the first contestant in my group...when I discovered I was first in the chair, I totally freaked out and called my mum...my mum is very smart and level headed, so she was like, 'well obviously you should strategically pass, even though I think you're really smart darling, you're not going to be able to answer 15 questions correctly.'"

SJ did strategically pass. Having gotten all her questions correct, she passed on question four. She then tragically never returned to the hot seat. Instead, she left the show with nothing. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE.

STEP FIVE: GET SAD

Because no one, alas, NO ONE ever wins the Million smackeroos.  OK, one person in the history of the show did it. It's time.

SJ couldn't do it. So now, the mantle passes to you.

Go forth with your backstory. Go forth with your pub trivia. Win it. And then we can write about it here and interview you on The Binge.

Also this week, SJ tells us what Eddie is really like up close and what happened when she left the show. Rosie and Laura tell us why the Australian Bachelorette should take a leaf from the US version, how Hodor has ruined cycling for Rosie forever, and the Nashville finale that we just can’t deal with. CAN’T DEAL. Hear the full ep below. 

You can hear more episodes of The Binge in iTunes, via the Mamamia Podcast App, or via your favourite podcast app.