'I went on my honeymoon alone after my fiancé died. Here's what I've learned about grief.'

Laura Murphy just went on a very different honeymoon to the one she envisioned. 

The 28-year-old lawyer and her fiancé, Devon, had been together for three years and spent virtually every moment together. 

"We worked together as well," Laura told Mamamia. 

"He was outgoing and funny and shone so bright. He was always cracking jokes and making up songs and just had a way of making people around him feel better about themselves." 

A dedicated runner and dog dad, Laura said Devon couldn't wait to have children. 

Watch: How To Deal With Grief. Post continues below.

While they didn't have a set plan for their honeymoon, they wanted to start in England for their friend's wedding in August, before heading to Italy and Portugal.

But just one month before their wedding in June this year, the unthinkable happened.

Devon passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.

"He was very healthy and went for a run that morning, there were no signs," Laura said.

Still in the depths of grief as her wedding day came and went without the love of her life, Laura made the decision to still go on their intended honeymoon alone. 

"I needed to remove myself from the environment I was in — staying in our house surrounded by all of our things and the life I thought we would have — because I truly felt I would not survive if I didn't try something else," she told Mamamia. 

"I had seen a few other people online who had taken trips while grieving or trips they had planned with their partners who had passed, and seeing others still living their life in spite of their grief gave me hope that maybe I could do that, too." 

Laura's partner, Devon, passed away unexpectedly a month before their wedding. Image: Supplied.

While Laura's family were naturally nervous about the idea of her being alone, they supported her as she decided to start sharing her experience on TikTok. 

"I thought if I was documenting my trip it would force me to get out and do things even when I may not feel like it. Since I was going to be spending large parts of the trip alone, I thought I could talk to my phone if no one else," she shared. 

"I was also hoping to maybe connect with others who had been through something similar, as I didn't know anyone else this young who had lost their partner.

Her first video alone reached 3.9 million views.

@murphs_up

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Laura shared the highs and lows of her trip — from the moments it all became too much and she'd cry in the middle of a restaurant to when her Maid of Honour and her dad came to meet up with her in Nice, France. 

"The response has blown my mind. I thought maybe just my family and friends would watch it, but it has reached so far and I have spoken with people all across the world who are grieving. It has definitely made me feel so much less alone in my grief," Laura said. 

"I have met up with others who are experiencing grief similar to mine and so many people have reached out asking to hang out or do kind things for me and it has been very uplifting to see so much kindness in a world that can be so dark." 

While the experience has been a positive one for Laura, grief is, of course, not linear and she has had dark days during her time away. 

"I am still so deep in my grief and some days I feel Iike I won't get through it, but travelling has been a distraction and connecting with so many kind people has been uplifting," she said. 

"I usually write to my fiancé every day. I try to tell myself that I know he would want me to live a beautiful life, he always just wanted to make me happy, so I am trying for him."

You can follow Laura's journey here. 

Feature image: Supplied.