HOLLY WAINWRIGHT: 'For me, sobbing in a tent was the first sign.'

For me, sobbing in a tent was the first sign.

Not unreasonable, of course. Camping is bullsh*t.

But the day I found myself sobbing, flinging things around a polyester palace so sleep-deprived I could barely stand, I began to wonder if maybe, this wasn't "me" me. It was me on Peri.

Was that why I was suddenly so anxious, so short of breath and spinny of brain? Were hormones to blame for these sparkly auras and arse-kicking headaches? Why I couldn't remember the word for… for… for… migraine, anymore?

I think you know the answer. In fact, I know you do, because when I asked you, my MID friends, what your hormonal tell was - the most surprising and weird thing that began to happen to you when you landed here in the place of Change, you told me. Oh, you told me.

You told me so much, and so well, that I've written you a poem. A sonnet, maybe? A song, perhaps? A love note, at the very least, to all my MID sisters. I see you. You see each other.

Watch: Mia Freedman answers all your questions about Perimenopause. Post continues after video.

Maybe we should call it the ballad of Peri and Meno, the least amusing characters in the latest Pixar cartoon about a woman's hormonal life.

Let's start with:

Hair loss

A banging heart

And throwing it back to acne.

Vertigo, itchy ears and sore hips.

Welcoming in a flare-up of IBS and a couple of panic attacks.

Crawling skin, tasting metal, and a frozen shoulder.

And did we mention the never, ever sleeping?

A sudden onset idiot allergy.

Sore feet and no libido.

Fury, rosacea and self-loathing.

Forgetfulness, oceans of tears and leaky wee.

Dry eyes, a scratchy head and an absence of shits to give.

And then there are the clots. And flooding.

An angry vagina.

Rage, a missing waist and waking in a puddle.

Crumbly teeth and self-doubt and a permanent hangover.

Restless legs, a shrivelly vag and gingivitis.

Tinnitus and a beard.

Oh, sorry, we forgot, again, to mention the anxiety - the sudden, pounding, life-halting panic.

Oh, we did? That must be the brain fog.

Welcome MIDs, to my tent and yours. We are all in this together. Just not at the same time.

That would be… a sight.

Want to learn more about Peri and Meno? Listen to the latest episode of MID below.

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Feature image: Instagram @wainwrightholly.