Hi darlings,
This week’s Ask Bossy dilemma comes from a bride-to-be. It was marked URGENT! Because with a wedding on the way…someone is a little worried.
It all happened at the hens’ party…
Dear Bossy,
I’m getting married in the next few weeks and recently had my hen’s party. During the course of the weekend, one of my closest friend’s proceeded to suck face and become kind of a hot mess in all of the most inappropriate ways on the dance floor, and I suspect the bathroom with a young punk..
This wouldn’t be a problem except that she’s married.
It put me in a bit of an awkward spot to have to explain to my other friends why a) why my bestie and bridesmaid was cheating on her new-ish husband and b) to be honest, it just made look at her differently.
It put a real dampener on the night and I wound up drunk crying. Now it’s the thing I’ll remember about the weekend as opposed to the amazing and beautiful party my gf’s threw for me! I hate confrontation so chose not to address it the next day when the hangovers had set in.
I truly feel weirded out about the whole situation and now don’t know if I really want her standing up beside me as I take my vows. Which sucks because before now, she’s been a great pal.
Am I just being a judgmental friend and should mind my own bees wax or am I right in feeling icky about it?
Sincerely,
Judgemental bride-to-be.
OK, I’m not holding back this week.
Here’s the thing you need to know, bride-to-be. As much as you think your hens weekend is about you, it’s not.
You gotta get over this idea that you can control the world. It’s a big mysterious beast. You can’t control life. And you can’t control your best friend. She went and did something a little bit stupid during your hens night. But you need to pull it back from being about you.
People do stuff all the time that’s immoral and wrong. And if it’s your friend, you should be able to forgive them.
Like Mia Freedman says, this will be the least of your worries – sh*t’s going to happen on your wedding day too. And that’s okay, they’re the weddings you remember. If something something doesn’t go wrong at a wedding, it’s boring.
Wedding crashers or wedding crushers? KDB and Mia
So Judgemental bride-to-be, pop a chill pill and ride the wave.
(Also, congratulations, have a lovely, if not perfect day).
Got a life dilemma you need help with? email askbossy@mamamia.com.au or dial up the pod phone: 02 8999 9386
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Top Comments
What the bridesmaid did was wrong.
But guess what? Anyone can do something that's wrong. Everyone will at some point. Including people we love.
If you can't accept that, stop trying to love people long term.
My friends peeve me off on a regular basis. I know I annoy them, too. Why? Because none of us is perfect and while we make an effort to get better those imperfections will come out sooner or later.
And it's simply a statistical probability that they'll come out in front of the people we spend the most time with. This means our best friends.
But guess what? We still love and accept each other.
Why? Because for all of the drama we know that on the whole our lives are far better for having one other in them.
And to top it off: it wasn't even the OP that her friend wronged. The friend's marriage is her business. The only reason the OP would get involved is if she has reason to believe her friend poses an imminent danger to her husband or children, and I don't see that here.
Spot on again Kate! I love your no nonsense advice (aka putting people in their place and making them realise there are bigger fish to fry).
love it love it love it