This reader is facing an awkward first meeting that she thought would have happened a long, long time ago. Another question for our iVillage brains trust.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years and I’ve never laid eyes on his ex-wife.
She’s yelled at me on the phone a couple of times but that’s about it. If I were an ex-wife, I’d make a point of meeting the woman who would be spending significant time with my kids, but she’s done everything she can to avoid meeting me.
It then got to a point that we hadn't met for so long it's like we missed our window. Years later, she requested a meeting but I'd just given birth to my first child and wasn't in the right place to deal with a meeting that would be awkward at best and extremely uncomfortable at worst.
Now it's been 10 years. My step-children are older and make their own way to and from our house. We no longer need to meet but whenever I mention to someone that I've never met my husband's ex-wife and mother of his first child they completely freak out.
"How is that possible?" they exclaim, which makes me feel silly.
But it really wasn't my doing.
When my husband and I first started dating he did everything he could to avoid me meeting his ex. At the time I didn't think anything of it. We were in the first flush of love and he always picked his daughter up and dropped her off. Our paths didn't cross at all.
I figured we'd eventually meet. I'd had no indication that she didn't want to meet me. Because they had been separated for several years and had both been in other long-term relationships before I even entered the scene, I didn't think it would be such a big deal.