Help! My husband's ex has asked for money for IVF

My husband’s ex has made a rather big request, and I have no idea what to do. Another dilemma for the iVillage brainstrust…

I don’t have a problem with the fact I am my husband’s second wife, nor do I really mind having a step daughter. In fact, I really love being a step mum. My husband’s ex-wife was a little upset when we first moved in together, despite the fact she too had a new boyfriend and they’d been divorced for two years. I tried to be understanding, after all, I’d feel so sad if it were me that were divorced.

Then my husband came to me with a huge request.

His ex-wife needs money for IVF treatment. She and her new partner want to have a family. They’ve been trying to fall pregnant naturally for over a year but with no luck. IVF is her only option but she doesn’t have the money for it and neither does her partner. My husband already pays her child support for their daughter.

I was shocked that she’s asked us for the money, but I’m also shocked my husband has passed the request on to me. He is basically asking me if we should give her the money. I don’t really feel it’s my decision to make. I want him to make the decision. But he’s asking me.

I instinct says to give it to her. It makes me sad that the only thing standing between her and having  baby is money.

We do have the money to give her. It will be a bit of a stretch but we can do it. But should we? I asked my friend and she said absolutely no way should we give it to her, that it was inappropriate for her to ask in the first place.

Should I agree to give my husband’s ex-wife money for IVF?