According to Relationships Australia money is one of the top four causes of conflict in a relationship. This can be a huge issue within an already established relationship but when people come into relationships with polar opposite views on money and budgeting …. and then you add $6,000 at a strip club…well. Amanda* writes
.My partner and I have been together for about four years. We do live together but it is a bit of an unusual situation as he works in a mine in Western Australia for two weeks on and one week off. I am in Sydney. We have two common financial goals – saving for a house deposit and also an overseas trip next year – however we are just not on the same page when it comes to managing money.
I am a planner and a budgeter. I put my required savings away each week and am on track to meet our savings target by the end of the year. He has no plan at all and just puts away bits and pieces as he can. He is on quite a good wage but seems to think that because he earns a lot of money that he can just waste it.
This brings me to the dilemma I am currently facing. My partner attended a bucks party on the weekend where he spent $6,000 (yes that is six thousand dollars) at a strip club. I don’t have an issue with the strippers, I knew they were going to the club, it is the money I am absolutely furious about.
I can’t believe one person can spend this much money in one night and I am so angry that he has so little respect for our financial goals that he would do this. It has thrown up all sorts of questions for me – Is this something he might do at every bucks night he attends? What if we had a family and he went and did this and then we couldn’t meet our commitments (when we do buy a house)? Why should I have to be the bad guy and insist that he leave his credit cards at home when he goes out on the town? Is this something I am going to have to watch for the rest of our lives?
And the list goes on and on!
What do you think about financial compatibility and how important it is in a relationship? Would the $6,000 issue be a deal breaker for anyone else and I should I perhaps keep our finances separated in the long term. Also has anyone had separate finances and made it work.
Top Comments
exactly what costs $6000 at a strip club, I would be asking. Yes I believe the questions you are asking are very valid, I would ask them all the way out the door.
And closely related to this discussion is, I think, the current discussion re porn and its effects on men, their sexuality and ability to be intimate, and yes this is men who are entering this discussion and saying porn is damaging to all these things in their lives.
i think you need to grow up because money is NOT everything.
go on go and blow your whole relationship up over a piece of 'paper' and end up miserable anyway.
I couldn't disagree with you more. I think your attitude needs a little maturing.
This is such a valid question and I think his choice of spending so much money comes down to some serious principles of a relationship... trust and respect, just to name a few. It's ignorant to reduce money or a bill to a 'piece of paper', because I doubt you would dismiss your year's worth of hard earned savings as unimportant.
For the record, if my partner did that he would have some major questions to answer... and yes, it is something I could walk away from a relationship from. Good luck...