The following deals with pregnancy loss. Support is available 24 hours a day via SANDS Australia. Call 1300 072 637 to speak to someone who understands.
Heather Maltman never got to meet her “little person”, as she calls them; never got to hold them, or see them. But they have a name: Llewy.
The actor and podcast producer, who appeared on Sam Wood’s season of The Bachelor in 2015, shared on Instagram this week that she had recently experienced a miscarriage and has spent the past two weeks in and out of hospital, crippled by complications.
Though the 33-year-old told followers that her podcast One Together would be on hiatus while she took “time to heal”, she vowed to return soon and to use her platform for those who’ve endured the same heartbreak in silence. People, she wrote, have told her “how scared they are to talk about miscarriage openly”.
A tribute to the babies we’ve lost…
Speaking to Mamamia on Tuesday, Heather said that fear is a big part of her decision to share what she and her partner, photographer Matt Baker, went through in October.
“The more I spoke to my girlfriends, the more I realised that women don’t really talk about this… And that made me feel awful; like that must mean it’s really bad,” she said.
“Yet this is something that’s so apparently common that one in four women go through it. When I went to the doctor, he said, ‘I see a case like yours every day.’… But it’s just not talked about. And that just doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“I burst into tears.”
Heather experienced what’s known as a ‘silent’ or ‘missed’ miscarriage, in which the baby has died or stopped developing without being physically miscarried.
It was indicated on Heather’s seven-week scan and confirmed a week later. The doctor told her there was no growth, no heartbeat.
“I just kind of floated out of my body at the stage,” she said. “Matt and I walked out and into the elevator, and I burst into tears there, because I didn’t want to make [the doctor] feel bad for breaking the bad news.”
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???????????? @baksey01 and I have decided to end the ONE podcast for its first season. And pick it up again in 2020. After the last 2 months. And having to say good bye to our little person Llewy… We need time to heal. We named you Llewy after the name Lewis from @gogonads and @tonylewis52… ???????????? I have gotten over 100 direct messages from women. And Matt has gotten both men and women… share an out pour of what they went through. And how scared they are to talk about miscarriage openly. So we are going to start a new relationship podcast. And we will talk about all the things. People are too scared to discuss. So that will happen in the next few weeks to come. Huge thanks to @bodyarmour.au for being so fucking amazing too and just loving the work we are doing. I’ve gotten your messages fellow listeners of the episodes for ONE together, and we won’t leave you hanging. Promise. ✨ But I’m the mean time. To everyone who helped me in and out of hospital over the last 2 weeks. And the women and men at Randwick Macquarie ward. Who helped me after a strong reaction to medication. Not to mention the complications that resulted in surgery… Thank you!!!! With all my heart. Dr Nora Abev. You were my hero. From start to now. You were there every scarey step of the way. And when no one listened when I said something was wrong. You stood in and said something for me. Any woman who needs a great female GP during pregnancy. Go to her in Sydney. She’s the best person I’ve ever met!!! #mumlife #ripllewy #randwickhospital #mumanddadforever #onetogetherpodcast #oneconciousness #community #spiritual #meditation #findyourself #takearisk #whatareyou #beanewyou #bethefutureyou #podcast