Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. There is a campaign to have it officially recognised nationally.
In 2006, after trying for three years to get pregnant, my wife Kate and I were referred to an IVF clinic. As part of the initial process we underwent genetic counselling. The results showed that Kate had a genetic translocation (this is where part of 1 chromosome swaps places with part of another chromosome). As a result we were told that the chances of us getting pregnant were less than 0.2 per cent and the chances of a successful pregnancy were zero.
Regardless we decided that we would still give IVF a try and in 2007 we began our first cycle.
Learn about Never Forgotten: Mamamia’s Pregnancy Loss Awareness Week.
As you can well imagine we were overjoyed when we were told that we were pregnant on our very first try. Despite the fact that we had originally decided not to tell anyone until at least 12 weeks into the pregnancy, our excitement got the better of us and we were unable to restrain ourselves from telling all of our family and friends.
Top Comments
I appreciate the trauma that this couple must have felt and what they are trying to do. Raising awareness of a taboo topic can only be a good thing. However, I don't believe that pregnancy loss and infant loss should be grouped together - they are not the same thing. (As someone who has lost a live child, I'm qualified to speak).
I think your missing the point. It's not about what category a loss falls into, it's about having a nationally recognised day where the loss of any baby can be remembered. It's also about raising awareness of the subjects of miscarriage or stillbirth so that the subject is no longer a taboo so that those that have had a loss can feel comfortable talking about it and so that those around them can feel comfortable offering their support.
I am MORE qualified to speak... I have lived the trifecta. Miscarriage, still birth, infant. Incomparable grief every time, but please don't try to say one is worse than the other. All were/are my children. Each of them broke my heart. I am more than okay with the terms being grouped together to raise awareness and support.
I've heard those words too, "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat". I can't forget. 6 pregnancies, 4 babies. People can say things that they think are helpful. But. "You'll have another one", "Enjoy the kids you have", "There must have been something wrong with it". "Some people didn't even know they were pregnant at 9 weeks, so it's no big deal, in the past you would have thought it was just a late period". "My daughter had an early miscarriage and it didn't bother her." "How can you miss something you never had".