"Don't judge me but... I think my ex is brainwashing my kids."

When we split up, I worried about all sorts of things about my ex. But I never worried about this.

My ex and I have been divorced for a year. It has been a really difficult few years, to be honest, but I thought we were coming to a calmer time in our lives.

We have 2 kids, a 7-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy. So it obviously is even more difficult with them. You know, trying not to have them be too affected by it. I genuinely try not to say anything nasty about my ex-wife when they are around. We both do that.

But since we have divorced, she has become a little crazy with food.

And by crazy, I mean thinking almost everything is bad for the kids.

She was always into health foods and trying new things. She made home-made baby food for our kids because she hated the “processed” nature of other store-bought baby food.

She jumped on all the healthy food fads. You know: quinoa, kale and acai berries to name a few.

And I have never really had a problem with it. After all, I want my kids to eat healthy too. And I want them to have a healthy relationship with food. Especially my little girl. I don’t tell many, but my biggest fear for her isn’t when she starts dating, but when she starts criticising her body (like her mum criticises her body).

But, now my ex has taken it too far.

I found out she has put a strict eating plan in their house. No sugar. No wheat. Only meat that has been fed grass. No dairy. No oil. No fats. No processed foods.

(Yeah, I’m with you, what’s left to eat?)

My kids have been on this “health plan” for only a couple of weeks. And without knowing of this “health plan” when they came to stay with me this week, I served them up some homemade burgers. On wholemeal buns. With sweet potato chips. (Trust me, I only go all out when they are with me, it is usually beans on toast.)

And they just stared at it. Then my son started crying. And my daughter said she couldn’t eat it.

My daughter said it would make her “fat”. Yes, she used that word. My son said that he was upset with me for feeding him “poison”. Yes, he used that exact word.

They said those words because that is what my ex-wife told them. She told them that healthy, good food will make them “fat”. That it was “poison” to their system (and for kids, poison is what the bad guy uses to kill the good guy).

So, this was how most of my week was spent with my kids: restoring their faith in food. Trying to get them to eat anything. I even went and bought Almond Milk for their porridge to get them to have breakfast. I tried my best not to confuse them, or to tell them what I thought of their mother.

But I am furious. I am angry that she is telling them this. I am so so mad that she is telling our daughter that food will make her fat. Healthy food! That my son now doesn’t know what is safe to eat. That everything has “poison” in it.

But I can’t control what she feeds or tells or does to our kids.

I’m completely lost.

Should I confront my ex-wife? Or should I just stay quiet and try tell them food is okay?

If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email info@themotherish.com with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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