Parents, what's with all the Halloween hate?

Last Halloween I sat in my front garden with three witches and a vampire. Children came and went, some boldly showing off their costumes, others, shyer, were timidly ushered in the gate by their parents.

Trick or treat they would mutter as they reached into a bucket of lollies we had placed out the front. Delighted, they’d shove their bounty into a plastic pumpkin as they compared loot with the other two-foot skeletons and ghouls nearby.

Their parents stopped and chatted, lazily strolling the neighbourhood. Some stayed for a glass of wine, perching themselves on my planter boxes. Others helped themselves to the plate of fruit we had set up (wishfully thinking the kids would prefer a handful of strawberries to a jelly snake or two.)

I met a girl I had gone to school with who now lives a street away. I met the parents of my older son’s school friends that in our hectic lives, I hadn’t had a chance to cross paths with. I met grandparents and teenage siblings, who usually rush from school to activity.

We chatted and laughed and watched the costumes, some elaborate, some thrown together at the last minute and felt for once a party of our community. A part of the neighbourhood that we all wish was less rushed, more open, less busy.

What I noticed though was that at least every second adult that walked through my gate - ushering in tulle covered Elsas and home-made bed sheet ghosts, three Spidermen for every vampire and a carefully crafted two-year-old “snowball” - had the same conversation.

I hate Halloween they’d say. What an awful American tradition. Can you believe we do this? Never did it when I was a kid.

I would look at their two witches, each happily clutching a tiny packet of smarties. I would listen to the sound of laughter and talk and see the handshakes and the back pats and gaze upon a neighbourhood alive. I would wonder why?

Why do we hate Halloween so much?

Why do we fixate on it as an awful tradition? Why do we insist on decreeing it as a celebration that doesn’t fit with our culture? After all we happily embrace snowmen at Christmas. Why do we listen to argument after argument about whether Halloween is an American tradition or one with roots in Celtic culture? (Fact: it's actually from Scotland not the US).

Why do parents say they hate it, say it’s a lolly-grab, that in a time of rising obesity and sugar consumption that teaching kids to beg for lollies is wrong. Why do they devote social media pages to complaints about how it teaches children to knock on strangers doors and ask for food?

Why?

When I was a child growing up in a middle-class suburb in Sydney, we didn’t even acknowledge Halloween. The most we saw of it was on TV, on Punky Brewster or ALF. It was unheard of to celebrate Halloween.

But why does this mean we shouldn’t celebrate it now?

Back then we sang God Save the Queen at Monday assembly and Australia Day was something we just talked about at school. Back then we had devon and tomato sauce sambos for lunch and played all day without a hat.

Listen to Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo discuss Halloween on this week's episode of This Glorious Mess. 

These days, God Save the Queen has been axed (thankfully) at school and Australia Day is a national celebration. Devon and tomato sauce is unheard of and kids, thankfully, are NEVER seen without a hat.

Times change.

Traditions change and like it or not Halloween is getting bigger and bigger in Australia. My kids have now done Halloween for the last four years. And if it makes you feel better about it, I will let you in on a secret.  It hasn't had any lasting negative affect. In fact not once have they, on days that aren’t Halloween, knocked on a neighbour’s door and begged for food. Not once.

Fancy that?

Not once have they begun to strangely speak in an American accent because they indulged in a tradition popular in the US. Not once have they expected to be allowed dress up in scary costumes and walk the streets on nights it's not Halloween.

What they know is that it’s a once a year event that they look forward to just as much as Christmas. It's an evening for neighbours to throw their doors open and say hello. They know it’s a day for dressing up in their wildest costumes with their friends.

For me, Halloween is about community and friendships. It's about meeting neighbours to whom you usually close your door. It's about being a part of that village we all crave. For my kids, it’s a day for fun and laughter and for them to be children.

So tell me, what is so wrong with that?

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Do you let your kids participate in Halloween?