Why people are putting 'Gwyneth Paltrow' and a 'poo incident' in the same sentence.

Here's a story I never thought I would write, but here we are. Gwyneth Paltrow is once again making headlines for all the wrong reasons, however, this time, she's a victim of an extremely disturbing act.

Last week, celebrity gossip newsletter Popbitch revealed that a celeb who recently stayed with Paltrow at her mansion in the Hamptons had "catastrophically shat themselves in bed".

Watch: Gwyneth Paltrow reveals candle "This Smells Like My Orgasm." Post continues below.

And if you thought that's bad, you haven't read anything yet.

The article goes on to say that the suspect "fled back to the city before they had to face the music." In other words, the person decided to pull a Houdini and vanish once they realised what they had done. 

"It’s not all shits and giggles for New York’s upper crust as they head to the Hamptons for the summer season. It’s mostly just shits," read the blind item.

The anonymous source who submitted the inital blind item claimed that the explosive incident was due to Ozempic, suggesting that it won't be the last time we hear about something like this happening.

"Gwynnie’s guest won’t be the only shitter in the Hamptons this year. Ozempic-induced diarrhoea is becoming a very hot topic of conversation between hosts there – because so many of their guests are using it. So expect laundrettes to be fully booked from July 4th.

The bizarre incident quickly caught the attention of Instagram's most prolific gossip account, Deux Moi, which shared its own blind item about the "crappy incident."

An anonymous tipster claimed that the houseguest "didn’t even bother to clean up after himself, but instead, left money for the cleaning staff… forcing them to scrub away at the walls, ceilings and floors - which was allegedly the evidence of the wild night."

When word got back to the owner (Paltrow), she was "less than amused. She flipped out and told two uber-famous friends all about it at a lunch date."

An insider informed In Touch Weekly: "Apparently, the man lost control of his bowels. Gwyneth was horrified when she found out what happened. The story leaked out, and everyone is wondering who the guy was."

So, who is the mystery celeb who committed a poop-and-run at Gwyneth Paltrow's home?

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A post shared by Derek Blasberg (@derekblasberg)

When a story as insane as this makes the rounds, it's only natural for people to speculate. According to the Daily Mail, the celebrity in question is allegedly writer and socialite Derek Blasberg.

However, in all honestly, we'll never truly know who it was. Unless Gwynnie decides to spill publicly. 

Reportedly sources speaking to the Mail clarified that Ozempic wasn't the reason behind the shitty behaviour ('scuse the pun).

"It’s not Ozempic, that’s just what [the person] told everyone," they said.

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A post shared by Derek Blasberg (@derekblasberg)

According to the insider, Paltrow was so mad — understandably so — that she "told Oprah, Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld and Larry David."

We'll keep you updated if this curious case is closed. 

Feature Image: Getty.