Paging Dr Gwyneth Paltrow! Stop scaring women with disproven theories about bras causing breast cancer.

There’s a reason this theory has been rejected by actual medical science-y types.

Gwyneth Paltrow, 43, went through seven long years of med school so we should all heed her advice when it comes to matters of health and wellbeing.*

Just in time for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Paltrow’s lifestyle website Goop has published a story written by Dr Habib Sadeghi that claims wearing a tight bra can cause breast cancer.

Dr Sadeghi’s 2,700-word post states that wearing a tight bra could restrict the lymph nodes around the breast thereby preventing “toxins from being processed through them and flushed out of the body.”

Dr Sadeghi pointed to research conducted in the early ’90s by medical anthropologists Sydney Ross Singer and Soma Grismaijer that found “women who wore their bras 24 hours per day increased their breast cancer risk by 125 times over women who rarely or never wore a bra” as evidence.

The doctor noted a later study conducted by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center that found zero connection between bras and breast cancer but dismissed it.

“The Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center receives money annually from a fundraising event called the Bra Dash, a 5k run during which women wear pink bras on the outside of their clothes to raise money for research. Perhaps the researchers felt it was inappropriate to implicate bras in breast cancer when they’re used to raise money for the institution,” he writes, which is a fairly terrible thing to imply.

Underwire bras could also cause cancer through radiation, according to Dr Sadeghi.

“While the fact that your bra could absorb and intensify radiation seems preposterous, it’s not as far-fetched as it sounds,” he writes.

He recommends getting rid of your wifi connection, never carrying a mobile phone in your bra or breast pocket, and buying bras without an underwire.

Sadeghi, whom Paltrow refers to as her “mentor” and a “super doctor” is the visionary who coined the now infamous term “conscious uncoupling”, reports Raw Story. Slow clap.

Dr Jennifer Gunter, a US obstetrician-gynecologist, explained why the medical establishment gives no credence to claims like the ones from Dr Sadeghi.

“Lymphatic obstruction is not a risk factor for cancer,” Gunter wrote on her blog in a post entitled Hey Gwyneth Paltrow, a GYN says stop scaring women about bras and breast cancer.

“If it were all the lymph node dissections done to save people from various cancers would paradoxically be killing them. We actually have mountains of data on outcomes after lymph node dissection, so if impeding lymph flow caused cancer we’d know.”

Also, she wants to know what type of bra Dr Sadeghi has been wearing.

“As an aside I don’t know what kind of bras these men have seen, but if your bra is impeding your lymphatic flow it is going to harm you because it will hurt. A lot. The kind of compression required to impact lymphatic flow is pretty significant. Maybe they should all wear one for a day or two so they can better understand exactly what a bra is and how it fits and works,” she wrote.

It’s unclear why Dr Sadeghi jumped on this outdated bandwagon, or why Paltrow endorses his opinion, but I’m starting to suspect that perhaps he just really has trouble undoing chicks’ bras during sexy times and would prefer it if we could just save him the trouble.

“So why not try going braless a little more often? The power and independence you feel this time around won’t be from rejecting political oppression but from taking charge of your health and resisting the social norms that seek to compromise it,” he concludes.

*There is no truth to this statement. It is fictional. I lied to you.